Life lessons I learned from video games...

[Head Mutant]

Hitler was a cyborg who shot rockets and was defeated in a mano-a-mano duel with an American paratrooper named B.J.

[StarOpal]

You can pick up every piece of junk you come across. The one thing you will have missed will be the key that opens the door about fifty rooms away. *sigh*

Bodies are subject to extreme decomposition and will evaporate in a couple of seconds.

People can be electrocuted by thunder attacks.

[Rett Mikhal]

Pushing random walls usually leads to treasure.

The pogo stick is not only the most stable method of travel, it is also one of the most effective weapons, even if you have a blaster.

Your wingmates are always stupid, but will usually steal your kill by firing one bullet into a BF-109 that you shot 100 bullets into and have directly in your sites.

Just as birds are the greatest threat to planes, turtles are the greatest threat to go karts.

Rhinos are smaller than chimps and are willing to lend them a ride on their back.

Pushing a gun down out of frame then bringing it back instantly reloads it.

[blinkfan]

Simply missing a jump means you will fall forever

Leaves make you a racoon

People in flying clouds seem to have an infinite amount of spikey things

[coccatino]

the more awesome you are, the faster the classical music plays.

[TheOogieBoogieMan]

A bird in the backpack is worth two in the bush.

[blinkfan]

It's perfectly logical in a fighting tournament to have your heart ripped out in round one and still continue fighting in round 2.

[Rett Mikhal]

If you take a gun from an enemy, you instantly pick up all the ammo he was carrying in the amount of time it takes to walk over it.

A cyborg can carry two weapons and 300 rounds of ammunition for both, but James Bond can carry 100 with 5000 rounds of ammunition for all of them.

All the most sophisticated jet fighters in the world can be flown with a joystick, four buttons, and a trigger.

[Storm_Rider]

Doors and keys are always color coded.

You're assigned a numerical value for your life, and even when you're into the single digits you can still walk and run normally.

No matter how much or what you eat and drink, you do not have to go to the bathroom, this being especially true in Azeroth.

Magic is REAL, and you can wield it by using up your mana, which also has a numerical value attached to it.

Almost everything has a money value, even if it's only "junk", someone will be willing to buy or sell it to you.

People can climb sheer walls without having to stop to rest, breaking a sweat, think about their next move, or respect normal rules of gravity, momentum or inertia.

[drew]

You have no control over anything that occurs in widescreen.

[PoolMan]

You should eat every mushroom you find. The red ones will double your height!

Inertia, schminertia. Go ahead and change direction in mid air.

[drew]

People drop coins in the most inconvenient places.

Even the best boxers in the world have an attack pattern so simple a six-year-old can figure it out. Also, said pattern occasionally includes magic.

[StarOpal]

Mechanics and smithies are a lot like McGyver. You can give them some gemstones, a few coins, firstaid kits, a tent, animal parts, and get any vehicle or weapon you want.

It's okay to eat food you find laying on the ground.

Animals are full of money and items. Scientists call it the "Piggy Bank Effect."

The more ridiculous the villianous laugh, the less dangerous the opponent.

The Lalelilolu is a perfectly good name for a mercinary group.

[Rett Mikhal]

Machines always work.

Unless it will save you a half hour detour; then they never work.

[BlackCatWhiteCat]

The key to being able to kick anyone's arse does not lie in your skills, training, or arsenal, but which outfit you have at your disposal.

If ever confronted by a Nazi so bent on my destruction that he sics his German Shepherd on AND throws a hand grenade at me, I just kick it away. Fido will then play a rousing game of fetch with his master. Problem solved.

When I look up at the sky I find comfort in the fact that I made those stars after my dad destroyed them on a drunken bender and I rolled up a bunch of junk for him to throw up there in their places. No one is the wiser.