Hey Sue. . .

[Hucklebubba]

Actually, everyone's welcome; I just expect Sue will back me up on what I'm about to say.

Okay, so everyone's familiar by now with the idea that Temple of Doom is kind of the Jan Brady of the Indiana Jones trilogy, right? And, supposing that you all bump into the same weirdos that I do, we all know that the most logical explanation for this is that Temple of Doom's central artifact was Hindu in nature, and therefore the movie did not sit as well with the Judeo-Christian shadow government that secretly rules the entire solar system.

Be that as it may, I have an alternative theory: No horses.

In the first and third movies, horses are not only present but pivotal. In ToD, not only are there not horses, but their replacements--elephants--serve little purpose other than to give Willy something else to squawk about. And not be trampled by. I'm sorry, where were we?

Anyway, I'll be the first one to admit that my explanation is neither as obvious nor as compelling as the whole right-wing fundamentalist bit, but I submit that it is also not entirely without merit.

And I also don't want to give the impression that I'm down on elephants in any way. There cool and all, it's just. . .good luck trying to catch an Opel truck with one.

[Head Mutant]

I'm fairly sure at one point during the infamous dinner they ate a horse. Or part of a horse. Horse-derves?

[pfrsue]

Huckle, I think you've latched on to a very fundamental cinematic truth. I mean, think about all the movies that would have been absolutely awful if not for the help of our equine brethren?

Ben Hur: Death defying rickshaw races in the Circus Maximus? Uhm. No.

The Black Stallion: The kid drowns. End of story.

Seabiscuit: Tobey Macquire would have looked pretty stupid falling off of nothing. A match race between Chris Cooper and Jeff Bridges might have been fun though.

Hidalgo: "Let 'er walk!"

The Godfather: Uhm, maybe not the best example to use.


However, ToD made a few other fundamental errors regarding animals, besides the lack of anything that could be nicknamed, "Dobbin".

- The elephants were unfairly represented, if only because anyone who has ever been to a zoo will understand that adding perfume to any pachyderm's natural...essense...could be construed as an attempt at biological warfare. What came out of the Ark of the Covenent could not possibly have been as bad as "fleur de éléphant". Yet, the heroism of the elephant who had the wit to react faster to this potential tragedy than a fully equipped Hazmat team was not recognized in the film. A glaring oversight.

- Cute little nazi monkey. Okay. Chilled monkey brains in their original casing. Not okay.

- Bugs. Why'd it have to be bugs?

J., I honestly don't remember if they ate horse, or any parts of a horse at the infamous banquet. This might be because I had my eyes shut during the majority of it.

Anyway, thanks for bringing this very important insight to light, Huckle!

[StarOpal]

You know, I always did think the horse was the real star of True Lies.

Oh, and as someone who has ridden an elephant 1) Them suckers can get pretty fast, but I'd still stick with the horse to catch a truck, and 2) Sue's right about it probably being a very bad idea to add in perfume to an elephant's unique odour.

As for the banquet I remember beetles and monkey brains, but I don't remember horse meat. That's probably too tame.

[Storm_Rider]

This is it people, the Temple of Doom dinner scene www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S9Pm30YQz0

There's Snake Surprise, some big-ass beetles (is it ok to say ass?), eye-ball soup, and chilled monkey brain, no horses.