Post by Hucklebubba on Oct 3, 2003 10:51:15 GMT -5
Ho ho! New forum game for you!
Okay, here's the object of the game: Take the song of your choice, and turn a group of lyrics into a press release. That's it. Considerable amounts of inspiration credit go to Rich for his Fresh Prince of Bel-Air bit from way back when. Anyway, here's my contribution:
At a recent press conference, Phil Collins shocked the music industry, when he told reporters that he possessed none of the necessary skills inherent to dancing or talking. He did mention that his manner of walking was noteworthy, however. More developments as they happen.
Last Edit: Oct 3, 2003 14:51:09 GMT -5 by Hucklebubba
Alabama University has announced a new class, taught by Professor Rogers, focusing on card games in the United States. Material to be covered includes patience, acknowledging defeat, athletic issues (low and high impact), accounting, and general rules and game etiquette. Students taking this course will also be exposed to panhandling and philosophy. Course meets on July and August evenings.
Like that?
"You're a genius!" "A genius with access to unstable chemicals!"
I don't even know what SONG that was! (or was that a little Kenny Rogers for us all?)
This just in: at a local bar, a man was knocked down more than thirty times, each time getting back up again, and exclaiming that he would never be kept down. He was earlier seen to have consumed the whiskey drink and the lager drink, and to have sung happy and sad songs.
Alabama University has announced a new class taught by professor Rogers focusing on card games in the United STates. Material to be covered includes knowing when to hold 'em, knowning when to fold 'em, walking away and running, and never counting your money when you're sitting at the table cause there's time enough for counting when the dealings done. Students taking this course will be exposed to the art of bumming last swallows of whiskey, cigarettes, and lights, as well as the secrets to survival. Course meets on warm summer evenings.
Better?
Liss
"You're a genius!" "A genius with access to unstable chemicals!"
Post by DARTHMADLER on Oct 4, 2003 12:39:35 GMT -5
Hey Poolers! Chumbawamba - Tubthumping. Am I right?
How about:
Morrisey was arrested today charged with shyness to the point of criminal vulgarity. At his preliminary hearing he stated that he was only human and needed affection just like everyone else. This came as no surprise as he recently inherited nothing in particular.
Ahhhh. Didn't realize we were supposed to guess as well (In that case, Hucklebubba's first one was "I Can't Dance" by Genesis.) Not that into Moriessy, so Darth, I'm up the creek on that one.
This week's gossip: A society wedding was interrupted by a redneck in cowboy boots when he entered the reception. Although the groom anticipated trouble, the intruder merely raised a glass of champagne and toasted the bride and their former relationship. He then announced that he had relations in other places (i.e., bars), and that he had no social graces and would return to said locations to commiserate with said friends. He said goodnight and walked himself out, apologizing for causing a scene. The wedding then continued as normal.
Yeeehaw!
"You're a genius!" "A genius with access to unstable chemicals!"
Lissa - “Friends in Low Places” by Garth Brooks. Good one!
I gave it my best:
There has been assault charges filed against a man known as ‘Baby.’ The defendent insists that the victim asked to be struck. The woman does not deny the allegations, but says she has been suffering from loneliness and depression. She would still believe in their relationship, even if it causes her to 'lose her mind'. The prosecution has evidence that the defendant has done this time and time again, but formal charges were not filed until yesterday.
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Post by Hucklebubba on Oct 4, 2003 23:22:29 GMT -5
Alas, Creepy, I are stumped. Here's my daily contribution:
A recent scientific study indicates a distinct correlation, insofar as probability of occurence is concerned, between the presence of thorns in the genus rosa, the precedence of night to day, and cattle ranchers' innate affinity for mournful ballads.
Whew.....
And now, a much shorter one:
Dennis DeYoung embarks on ocean voyage; leaves open invitation for all who wish to join him.
Last Edit: Oct 4, 2003 23:30:39 GMT -5 by Hucklebubba
How Soon Is Now, by The Smiths Every Rose Has Its Thorn, by Poison
Hee! This is fun! Now for my first attempt (apologies in advance):
Thanks a lot, Edison. The inventor of sound recording has a lot to answer to, according to a new study from Carpenter University. Psychologists there have concluded that sound is a significant component of memory, and that many people are reminded daily of upsetting events by audio cues. In one case study, a young female subject would hear a guitar on the radio, and be reminded of her musician lover, who had left her long ago. Her doctors reported that she would sit at the radio and moan endlessly.
Last Edit: Oct 5, 2003 8:11:56 GMT -5 by jenfrazer
Post by Hucklebubba on Oct 5, 2003 12:36:29 GMT -5
We've just received news that, after having suffered what noted cardiologist Dr. Lewis has diagnosed as "an exhaustion-triggered heart attack," (Likely as a result of a recent strenuous road trip.) Mr. Rock & Roll is resting in poor but stable condition in the intensive care unit of Mt. Sinai Medical Center in Cleveland.
Post by FiveMileSmile on Oct 6, 2003 6:01:27 GMT -5
Here's my original contribution:
During the screening of a popular television programme in the United States, Will Smith recently made a series of shocking revelations about his early childhood. His opening remarks, describing how his life got 'turned upside down' as a teen, soon lead to Will painting a picture for the viewers of his early teen life, growing up in West Philadelphia. Apparently an innocent teen, with a love of the company of his peers, and games of basketball at the local school court, Will soon found himself in trouble with a couple of guys who, in Will's words, were 'up to no good'.
After a confrontation which Will downplays as 'one little fight', Will's mother feared for his safety, electing to send Will to Los Angeles to stay with his wealthy Aunt and Uncle.
Describing the journey in some detail, will remembers vividly his arrival in Los Angeles, hailing one of the cities many cabs. Will has fond memories of his first LA cab ride, particularly reminiscing about the cabs unorthodox appearance.
"The license plate said 'FRESH'", Will informed the audience, "and it had a dice on the mirror!"
Obviously, this was one of the many rare and unique custom cabs that roams the streets of the City of Angels. Arriving via this same taxi, Will was deposited at his Aunt and Uncle's Bel Air home some time in the early evening. Bidding farewell to the cab driver, who Will remembered had some form of personal hygiene or body odor problem, Will remembered the elation he felt on his successful arrival in Los Angeles.
"I was finally there," Will explained, "To sit on my throne, as the Prince of Bel Air."
Movie at 11.
- Rich New material to follow shortly
"Even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."
AP, 12:00 GMT: Noted 80’s UK singer / song-writer Thomas Robertson was robbed of his sight due to the actions of an as-yet-unnamed woman. The artist asserted that the events which resulted in his visual impairment were due to the woman’s inclination to carry out the observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena.
Robertson, however, admitted that he had been quite attracted to the woman with whom he shared a dubious romantically tainted student-teacher relationship. Speculation points to the woman’s identity being that of a certain Miss Sakamoto, who has, since the incident, gone on to award below-average marks to Mr. Robertson in both Geometry and Biology.
Further allegations include the woman’s use of technology in a physical attack against Robertson, who also found many of his personal affects, instruments, and written notations placed in an unfamiliar arrangement with the seeming intent to elliminate possibility of Roberts locating any specific object using the faculty of memory.
Legal charges have yet to be filed, owing possibly to Robertson’s continued affinity for the woman who has injured him. Rumors of obsession and chemical abuse abound, but nothing has been confirmed at this time.
Heh. That's mine... wonder if anyone will get it.
Hey, Hey Creepy, was that some Britney you were favoring us with? Baby Hit Me One More Time, if I'm not wrong.
Post by FiveMileSmile on Oct 6, 2003 10:34:08 GMT -5
This Thread Delivers.
If only she'd known
It's a tragic story; only a few years years ago, as local teens attending the same school, they seemed destined for each other; both felt some kind of mutual attraction, but alas, social boundaries kept them apart. While he was into the punk movement, she preferred to practice ballet. Her friends didn't approve of his outlandish dress, and despite her feelings, she eventually turned the boy down.
Little would she know that in 5 years, he would go on to be a popular and rich musician, while she remained a homebody and became a single mother. The pain was only made worse when she attended his show only to find he was now romantically linked with a different young girl, who then proceeded to mock her earlier foolish decision in song format in the middle of Times Square while jumping up and down on top of cars.
- Rich She Invented Punk!!
Last Edit: Oct 6, 2003 10:35:05 GMT -5 by FiveMileSmile
"Even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."
Rich, you wouldn't really make a full grown man type out the phrase "Sk8er Boi", would you?
Side note: one of the funniest moments in Canadian TV ever came last year when our Prime Minister, Jean Chretien, met Avril Lavigne at a press conference, and actually had an advisor recommend to him to say:
"She is Avril Lavigne, punk rock girl, and I am Jean... skateboard... guy."