|
|
Post by Head Mutant on Apr 13, 2004 16:12:06 GMT -5
And Pooly's got it right. There's never a magical age when you suddenly stop being a kid and start being an adult. It happens gradually, slowly, and with some people, never. I've also heard -- and believe -- that people change the most between ages 18 and 21 than any other period of their lives. I can see that.
So really, don't get heckled by terms. I work in a situation where all of the adults at church see me as a fresh-faced lad, and the teens view me as an old fogey who is about as hip as saying the word "hip". Neither bothers me; I yam who I yam. But I think if you have to TELL someone that you're an adult, then you're probably not.
|
|
|
|
Post by DocD83 on Apr 13, 2004 21:09:46 GMT -5
No, and "you can beg all you want it won't make you right" respectively.
I said nothing of maturity. There is an undeniable gulf in experience--divorced from maturity--between an innocent ten year old and an adolescent. Even accounting for the fact you can have a younger person be wiser than an older person, the difference is still there. It is absolutely insulting to call teens "children" or "kids," and I'm willing to bet you only forget that you found it so. Poolman is quite right in his analysis of the situation (whether or not you think I may say so sitting here only at a measly 20 years of age), and I'd like to emphasize one of his points:
Soooo.....it's not a bad thing that they're below you in development, and it's a condition that will be remedied in due time, and it is a condition you were once in yourself, but it's still ok to be condescending to them? I don't think so, Poolman.
There are a surprising number of people who will never treat you like an adult if they ever knew you when you weren't (and I'm not speaking entirely on my own experience). They need to be put in their place, because they are comfortable holding you in their minds unchanged while they advance and a disparity widens. They would feel threatened to think you've caught up, or are keeping up, or (gasp!) passed them. This serves no one. A similar thing happens in the other direction, especially children to parents. Do you like to be reminded your parents have sexual urges? Most people don't. You are comfortable holding your parents on the level which they showed you at a younger age, so that you can percieve yourself to be advancing above them (maybe you really are, but that's another debate). This malfunction causes problems too, especially in the "rebellious stage."
I think I've earned my right to complain about terminology once or twice. I know no one here believes me, but I have put in more than my fair share of time hearing this kind of complaint from other people. It's my turn.
|
|
|
|
Post by Hucklebubba on Apr 14, 2004 1:12:16 GMT -5
Whoa, easy there, kiddo. How about a condescending head-pat? It is absolutely insulting to call teens "children" or "kids," Insulting, yes. But sometimes accurate, and also a time-honored tradition. At present, I stand amazed at the apparent general stupidity of most teenagers, while simultaneously disdaining old people for their annoying old people quirks. When I was younger, others were likely amazed at my stupidity. When I'm old, youngsters will mock me for things like forgetting to put pants on, and driving 15 under the speed limit in the oncoming lane. I'll respond by complaining about their devil rap music, and bragging about my oldhood-granted privilege of being able to fart loudly in public and congratulate myself for it. Thus continues the great circle of life. |
|
|
|
Post by Lissa on Apr 14, 2004 8:23:03 GMT -5
I don't think it's that insulting to call teens "kids." (Children -is- pushing it, unless you're referring to "parents and children" type of children. I might be almost 30, but I'm still my mother's child.) After all, how often have you heard the term 'college kids'?
The thing is, there's nothing insulting about calling someone in that age range a kid- not necessarily. They often don't have the trials that are associated with adulthood. I'm not remotely saying that teens have it easy- just that they aren't financially independant, and most don't have to worry about rent, grocery shopping, and homeowners associations. These are worries and activities that can characterize adult life, but hopefully most teens are still avoiding them. (And if they aren't, we often shake our heads and say "poor kid".)
There's a guy I work with that's a Master's student doing research here. He's got to be 23-24, and probably considers himself an adult. I call him a kid, because he's younger than me. My one boss, who's 67 or so, calls me a kid still, even though I'm 29, married, and otherwise an "adult." It's simply because I'm younger than him.
You might have a case for children, but I'd get used to being called a kid! (And after a while, it's kind of nice to hear!)
|
|
|
|
Post by dajaymann on Apr 14, 2004 9:54:53 GMT -5
You kids are all so silly, with your typing and ranting and whatnot!
|
|
|
|
Post by PoolMan on Apr 14, 2004 11:45:28 GMT -5
It is absolutely insulting to call teens "children" or "kids," and I'm willing to bet you only forget that you found it so. Oh no, I remember quite well. I also realize (brought to you by the convenience of RETROSPECTOVISION!) that the people who did so were quite right. But to automatically assign insult to the title of "kid" signals (to me, anyways) the insecurities of youth, which is something that most youth (including myself, at that age) do. it is a condition you were once in yourself, but it's still ok to be condescending to them? I don't think so, Poolman. Eh, suit yourself man. I'm not trying to BE condescending, to you or anyone else younger than me. I get along extremely well with younger people. I hung around with the 13 year olds in the cast of my play in January because they were fun to pal around with. They were mature kids, but they were still kids. And I never antagonized them for it. In fact, I quite often hang around with kids instead of adults in a mixed setting, because the kids are usually more fun and less demanding. There are a surprising number of people who will never treat you like an adult if they ever knew you when you weren't 100%, shockingly, disappointingly true. It's a tremendous dynamic. And you'll be guilty of it one day. Do you like to be reminded your parents have sexual urges? Most people don't. Do I like to be reminded? No, not really. Do I sit in absolute denial that my parents have a sex life? Not at all. I have put in more than my fair share of time hearing this kind of complaint from other people. It's my turn. Sounds like you've had this discussion previously. |
|
|
|
Post by DocD83 on Apr 14, 2004 12:00:42 GMT -5
It's certainly not automatic, I just find that it often is and I want it changed to the more accurate term with the more accurate stigma attached to it.
That's the plan.
You don't have to for my theory to hold. While you know they are sexual, you don't usually have that in mind when you are speaking with them (I don't, anyway). In the end you most likely treat them differently than you would an unrelated person of the same age. Think of the jokes you would find suitable to tell your parents or grandparents as opposed to most anyone else.
Not this particular one, but similar kinds of complaints about language, usually from minority groups. I want the word "crusade" back, dammit!
|
|
|
|
Post by PoolMan on Apr 14, 2004 12:21:17 GMT -5
Think of the jokes you would find suitable to tell your parents or grandparents as opposed to most anyone else. Hahaha... you've obviously never met my family. Ask Justin how sensitive my mom is about dirty jokes. She could probably put me to shame. |
|
|
|
Post by DocD83 on Apr 14, 2004 14:03:42 GMT -5
Then I hereby invoke the standard boiler-plate, in internet acronym form:
YMMV
|
|
Uber
Boomstick Coordinator
Who Farted?
Posts: 293
|
Post by Uber on Apr 14, 2004 14:05:53 GMT -5
*Banging head against a wall* But...all I wanted to do was talk about a concert I went to.
I'm going to go to the Phil Collins concert in a few months, and to justify things with everyone I'll call myself a kiddie, because in that crowd I more than likely will be one. It happened last year at the Paul McCartney concert, as well as the Billy Joel/Elton John concert.
|
|
|
|
Post by DocD83 on Apr 14, 2004 14:15:23 GMT -5
But then I realized I could make money selling my medication to dead heads--er, um, I realized I could use it to up my post count. And argue pointlessly in the grand tradition of internet forums.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lissa on Apr 14, 2004 16:12:36 GMT -5
Silly Uber- you've been around long enough to see threadjack in many ways, shapes and forms!
|
|
|
|
Post by duckie on Apr 14, 2004 16:34:59 GMT -5
*Banging head against a wall* But...all I wanted to do was talk about a concert I went to. I'm going to go to the Phil Collins concert in a few months, and to justify things with everyone I'll call myself a kiddie, because in that crowd I more than likely will be one. It happened last year at the Paul McCartney concert, as well as the Billy Joel/Elton John concert. Ahhh, I remember when I went to my first Phil Collins concert, as a teenager, 20 years ago... ;D |
|
|
|
Post by pfrsue on Apr 14, 2004 17:09:04 GMT -5
Phil Collins? I'd go with ya!
For me, there came a point where I stopped caring whether people referred to me as a kid, a Miss or a ma'am. For some reason, I hear all three of them on a regular basis. (Hey, there are far worse terms!)
In the grand scheme of things, there are very few people who actually intend to cause offense by using those words, so it seems sensible not to become offended.
Heck, does that mean I've... grown up?!
|
|
|
|
Post by PoolMan on Apr 14, 2004 17:20:28 GMT -5
"YMMV"? Hm. No idea.
|
|
