I think a big part of what makes Ovaltine work is that their radio commercials feature children that are creepy as all hell. That's a sure-fire win every time.
They always speak in perfect unison, and their devotion to Ovaltine borders on slavish. "Yes! Feed us rich, chocolatey Ovaltine, mother-unit! For it is the only chocolate drink mix sanctioned by the Great Brain!"
I do need to ask, what are your thoughts on Yoo-Hoo? It's whey based, but I've always found it rather pleasant to the palate.
Ah, Yoo-Hoo. Hands-down my favorite pre-mixed chocolate drink.
However, this is only true under the condition that the Yoo-Hoo in question is colder than the vacuum of space. Yoo-Hoo at room temperature, or even Yoo-Hoo that's only somewhat cold, is the nastiest thing on the planet.
I would also warn everyone to stay away from Double Fudge Yoo-Hoo; arguably the very definition of "too much of a good thing."
As the name implies, it's basically a liquid brownie in a can. Call it a quirk, but I find it hard to enjoy something that causes my shoulders to seize up in revulsion with every swig. It's for this same reason that I can, based on the testimony of others, make an educated assumption that I would not like tequila, without ever actually having tried it.
More on Ovaltine:
Although I gave high marks to the spooky children commercials, I must jeer at the largely child-free commercial with the two moms, largely as a result of insecurities born of my own aberrant thought processes.
Specifically, when the one mom says to the other, "I didn't make it for the kids; this Ovaltine is for
us," I fully expect that to cue in some generic wakka-wakka music, or perhaps Kool & the Gang's "Ladies' Night." I don't know if this is because the mom's tone strikes me as coyly suggestive, or because, as a man, I am required to at least attempt to transform every situation I encounter into lesbian pornography.
It probably wouldn't even bother me that much, were it not for the fact that a) they're moms, which elicits a very loud Stuart Larkin Whine of Objection from my person, and b) "Ovaltine" doesn't even make for a logical euphemism. Or rather, it
might, but. . .I want to talk about something else now.
More on Yoo-Hoo:
My brother was once heard to disparagingly remark that Yoo-Hoo is less like chocolate milk, and more like chocolate water. This is a) true and b) unnerving. In fact, a big part of enjoying Yoo-Hoo depends on one's personal skill at being able to shut out aesthetic concerns.
In particular, I find that I have to make a concerted effort not to be annoyed by the fact that one could hook a can of Yoo-Hoo up to a purpose-built robotic shaking arm, leave it for a week, and come back to find particulate matter still floating around.
The color puts me off a bit, as well. Granted, every chocolate drink is going to be some form of brown, but I don't see why the makers of Yoo-Hoo felt the need to use the
exact shade of what gets pumped out of an RV's poop tank.
Wow. Neither of my addendums were in good taste, and I think I counted two or three different things that I may have ruined for everyone.
