Damn the Man!

[pfrsue]

Actually, it's my long-time conviction that people who work at gas stations just off the Interstate should have the absolute power to revoke licenses of obviously unfit drivers.

Oh the stories I could tell... *sigh*

Sue

[dajaymann]

I'm wit sue on this one. Been driving around ten years now. Pulled over about 4 or 5 times. Even had the car searched once. Vehicle? Bright Red 1985 Firebird.

Traffic tickets: Zero.

Of course, the fact that I drive like an old woman (and my wife reminds me of that quite often) probably helps.

[MarsNeedsTowels]

I've only been pulled over once, and I did get a ticket (Getting freakin' late night pizza), but my spotless record before that gave me the minimum fine. Canadian traffic officers don't seem to give out warnings as much as Americans, whenever I hear about anyone getting pulled over for speeding they always wind up with a ticket. Either that or you're all exceptionally lucky.

[TheLuckyOne]

Magill said:

Um, how would you plan on implementing that? You can't do it by license plates, because those go with the car, not the driver (Mr. Speedy could have the special fast license, but his wife Ms. Notso-Speedy could have the limited license. What if she's driving his car, or vice versa?).

No, no, you're way overthinking this- let the magic genie who's implementing all these things figure it all out. I'd imagine he'll be putting chips in our heads that are keyed to the frequencies of the specific lanes we're in, and send out a warning (and a mild electric shock) when we get into the wrong one. That's just me speculating, though, could be wrong. Obviously it would only work on highways, not dirt or gravel roads, and if you're good enough to get one of the all-lanes driving chips, you're smart and responsible enough to slow down in adverse driving conditions... that's just common sense.

As for the deer, say no more- this is Jersey, after all, they're frickin' everywhere. (Mom hit one a few years back... dented the hood up something fierce, but fortunately the deer survived.) I don't think better drivers are that way just because of faster reaction time, though. That's part of it, but there's also elements like awareness of the road around you, respect for and usage of proper driving procedures (turn signals foremost among them), common consideration and politeness (driving on the shoulder and then trying to merge into the line of traffic further down the line = jerkstore), and that sort of indescribable ability to extend your sense of personal space from just your own body to the car itself. Those are all factors too that shouldn't be ignored, and making the driving test more difficult would help motivate people to actually LEARN to be better drivers... or they won't be doing any driving whatsoever.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning (excessive) speeding, or trying to sound like I inherently hate people who drive slower. Drive at the speed you're comfortable, absolutely, I don't want to sound like I'm against that. I just have an intense dislike of people who drive slowly in the left lanes, which are specifically reserved for passing and people who are willing and able to drive faster. And for people who change lanes suddenly and without signalling, obviously, but I think we're all in that boat.


-D

[pfrsue]

But surely a driver's ability to operate a motor vehicle safely, accurately and observantly is in a constant state of flux. Fatigue, alcohol, bickering children in the backseat, tear-stained Mapquest printouts, fiancees drooling all over a favorite moose... these are all variables that can cause rapid deterioration of driving skills in even the most conscientious among us.

Besides, the safest driver on the road can still be easy prey for the booze-marinated moron who thinks that double yellow lines are just sort of vague suggestions or the suicidal antlered field rat.

And Drew... the left lane is officially known as the "passing lane", not the "faster driver" lane.

[TheLuckyOne]

Seems like most of the time it's known as the slowest driver lane...


-D

[Magill]

TheLuckyOne said:

No, no, you're way overthinking this- let the magic genie who's implementing all these things figure it all out.

Magic genies? Why didn't you say so? I withdraw all my arguments.

[duckie]

I can't remember which book it was that I had read (likely something by either Kinky Friedman or Bill Fitzhugh)... but I remember him suggesting that paintball guns be used to identify bad driving habits... shoot an orange paintball at the slow driver, maybe a red one at the driver who doesn't use his turn signal... then we'd all have a better chance of predicting the driving habits of those around us ;D

[DocD83]

I'd install a couple paintball guns in the side of my car so I can plaster the guy next to me when he doesn't let me merge in.

[Al]

duckie said:

I can't remember which book it was that I had read (likely something by either Kinky Friedman or Bill Fitzhugh)... but I remember him suggesting that paintball guns be used to identify bad driving habits... shoot an orange paintball at the slow driver, maybe a red one at the driver who doesn't use his turn signal... then we'd all have a better chance of predicting the driving habits of those around us ;D

I think that may have originally been a Gallagher idea, actually.

Al

[Landatauron]

Maybe Gallagher changed his routine but when I heard him do the driver bit it was stick flags with suction cups on them to the sides of cars.


Oh and as for the getting out of tickets. I have no clue. Had my license for 7 years now. Got 3 speeding tickets all within the first two years. All highway speeding. 70 in a 55, 75 in 55, and 90 in a 65.

[CrankyMonkey]

I think the left lane should be left open to those drivers who are comfortable passing other cars. It shouldn't be a lane where fast drivers just cruise along (there IS that whole law about keeping right except to pass), but I think it's more dangerous when a slower car moves into the left lane and changes the flow of traffic. Some of the more nerve wracking actions that I've seen while driving have involved a slow car either changing lanes or rapidly decreasing speed in the midst of traffic that is moving quickly.

To defend my apparent lead foot, I've only received 2 speeding tickets in 9 years, one of which was in the boondocks of central PA, on my way home from college. Once you get 3 miles outside of State College, there's NOTHING for cops to do but target speeders... it's almost unfair! So, I'm probably not one of the terrible drivers that would deserve a shot with a paintball gun. Probably.

[Head Mutant]

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

[duckie]

Landatauron said:

Maybe Gallagher changed his routine but when I heard him do the driver bit it was stick flags with suction cups on them to the sides of cars.

I think you're right on that, I seem to recall the same thing. The paintball idea was definitely in a book that I had read, although it's very possible that the general idea was taken from Gallagher. Then again, I've wanted to trade paint with bad drivers on the road...

[duckie]

CrankyMonkey said:

To defend my apparent lead foot, I've only received 2 speeding tickets in 9 years, one of which was in the boondocks of central PA, on my way home from college. Once you get 3 miles outside of State College, there's NOTHING for cops to do but target speeders... it's almost unfair! So, I'm probably not one of the terrible drivers that would deserve a shot with a paintball gun. Probably.

I've also gotten a ticket in the boondocks of central PA, but on the way back to State College. This was years ago, before they had improved the highway through Harrisburg. I ended up passing a car on the right, doing something like 60 mph in an area where the speed was being reduced to 35mph... well, an off-duty police officer was following me, and pulled out his dashboard light and pulled me over. He was on his way to work, made me follow him to the station so that he could get his notebook. 4 points and $170 later, he let me go.

I had been pulled over a number of times when I was young, usually had 3 points on my license at any given time. Probably had something to do with my red sports cars, couldn't have had anything to do with my driving habits

By the way... on the History channel right now... the history of the autobahn... what a coincidence ;D