Did Anybody Meet Their Spouse Online?

[Spiderdancer]

So has anybody had experience with online dating? Has anybody met his or her significant other using an online dating site? If so, which one(s)? I'm currently "guest profiled" or signed up (depending on whether they charge for a subscription) on several.

I ask because I've decided to try and start dating in order to look for a long-term relationship. I'm a Christian. There is maybe one guy who is over 21 and single at my church, and he's definitely not my type. Since clubbing is out, this pretty much leave switching to a different church, which would mean I'd miss my current one, or trying the online scene.

Do tell. If anyone is interested, I'll probably have some comments about my experiences with these sites here or on my blogs at MySpace (SickleYield) or Livejournal (sickleyield.livejournal.com).

[Head Mutant]

I did, actually: bigchurch.com/

Signed up on a whim based on a Hotmail ad, but my wife had been using it for a few months already. I think it's a lot more socially acceptable to use these services nowadays, and I've met many people who have met their spouse using these services. In a way, they're dating 2.0 -- you really get to know the person before you meet (hopefully), and it cuts a lot of shallow crap out of the equation.

Anyway, I liked Big Church, but there are certainly others.

[Lissa]

One of my best friends met her significant other online. They aren't married yet, but they've been together over a year. And my BIL met his fiancee on line. I think they both used match.com or yahoo!personals.

[bladestarr]

My post disappeared.... strange.... as far as I could tell, it contained nothing negative in it.

[Rett Mikhal]

All the pay ones are bogus, don't trust any of them. The best one by far is

www.okcupid.com

It's free, and the personality test is just a never-ending series of questions that's disturbingly addictive. At around 300 it knows exactly who you are in every aspect, but you just keep doing them.

It has all the bells and whistles of the pay sites like Match.com or eHarmony but it's free and easy to use.

I, personally, have never met anyone online because I am a misanthropic freak who will forever reject anyone who doesn't love F-14s and can shoot lasers out their eyes while reciting both Pink Floyd lyrics and the entire lineup of the X-men before 1995, as well as shoot Nazis in every way that Nazis can be shot in while correcting people's grammar and spelling, preferably at the same time, (takes a breath) but don't let that deter you. I hear for sane people it's quite easy to meet someone on cupid.

Oh, and it has a facebook modular application. If you're into those things.

[TheLuckyOne]

Shalen, my only experience with online dating was not a particularly healthy one. However, Lady Luck's cousin met her husband through an online dating service, so clearly they do sometimes work. I would strongly suggest you stay away from a long distance online relationship... if you find someone over the 'net, make sure the two of you can actually hang out a couple times a week without having to hop a flight.

May 15, 2008 15:23:37 GMT -5 Rett Mikhal said:

I, personally, have never met anyone online because I am a misanthropic freak who will forever reject anyone who doesn't love F-14s and can shoot lasers out their eyes while reciting both Pink Floyd lyrics and the entire lineup of the X-men before 1995

Professor X
Cyclops
Beast
Angel
Iceman
Marvel Girl
The Mimic
Changeling (impersonating Professor X; awarded membership posthumously)
Polaris
Havok
*Petra
*Sway
*Vulcan
*Darwin
Nightcrawler
Wolverine
Storm
Colossus
Banshee
Sunfire
Thunderbird
The Phoenix Force
Shadowcat
Rogue
Phoenix II
Magneto
**Cannonball
**Mirage
**Wolfsbane
**Sunspot
**Karma
**Magma
**Magik
**Cypher
**Warlock
Longshot
Psylocke
Dazzler
Jubilee (junior member)
Forge
***Madrox the Multiple Man
***Siryn
***Legion
***Sunder
***Moira MacTaggert
***Tom Corsi
***Sharon Friedlander
***Amanda Sefton
***Alysande Stuart
Gambit
Bishop
Revanche
Sabretooth (debatably; being held at mansion for rehabilitation)
White Queen (arguable; awoke from coma in 1995 and assisted X-Men, officially joined later)


But, sorry... taken. Them's the breaks.


* = "X-Men 1.5" team, retroactively added into continuity in recent "Deadly Genesis" miniseries
** = New Mutants, briefly became the X-Men when main team was incapacitated in UXM annual #10
*** = "Muir Island X-Men"... team of allies hastily thrown together to defend Muir Island


-D

[Lissa]

And we have hypothesized that Drew can shoot lasers out of his eyes. Don't laugh unless you've met him in person.

[Rett Mikhal]

Fie to that. I said I reject anyone who can't do all that. I may see X-men and lasers but I don't see the thrust to weight ratio of the F-14D or the muzzle velocity of the M1 Garand NOR the M1 Carbine. Even if they could do all that I'm pretty sure I'd probably hate them for trying too hard. C'est la vie, am I right?

[coccatino]

Drew- God Bless the nerdery.

Shalen- I have some friends who met on eharmony and got married- said it was a very positive experience and matched them very comparably based on their religious views (Christians). That said... My father is a serial marrier, and he's a BIG fan of meeting ladies online and starting long distance things... so if anyone named Tom from Jersey contacts you, just say no.
I would agree with the idea that you should absolutely try to limit yourself to people within relatively close distance. My dad has gotten into a LOT of trouble and spent a LOT of money on long distance relationships that didn't go anywhere. Also- like Justin said- the big positive is that you actually get to know the person and bypass the superficial nonsense... so I'd urge you to really spend time getting to know anyone you meet online before risking a face to face.
Sorry- I don't mean to sound like your mom or anything... just don't want you to have a negative experience.

[Head Mutant]

I think that really needs to be an official MRFH t-shirt:

"If anyone named Tom from Jersey contacts you, just say no."

[LadyStarblade]

Well, it's not dating, but I did meet my best friend and current roommate through an online writing group...she was in Alabama, me in Indiana...and we met up for a few concerts and such in Nashville and got along great.

We were both fed up with our living arrangements at the time, so when I made an offhanded comment about her moving up here, it started the ball rolling and we moved into an apartment within a month and a half.

It's now been almost three years, and she and I are still the best of friends...more like sisters...and everyone still gets a giggle over the story of how we met over the internet!

My biggest suggestion would be more along the lines of getting involved in an actual online group with common interests, rather than a dating site, but you never know.

Best of luck!

[Spiderdancer]

Thanks, all! Yes, it's definitely important to find someone relatively close by and be careful. I'm now mostly spending time on okcupid and Plentyoffish, which are both free (eharmony keeps spamming me and I'm starting to hate them).

The problem with your suggestion, LadyStarBlade, is that I AM into online groups with the same interests. They tend to include people from, ahem, long distances away, because my interests are, again ahem, unusual.

[LadyStarblade]

May 20, 2008 16:28:20 GMT -5 Spiderdancer said:

The problem with your suggestion, LadyStarBlade, is that I AM into online groups with the same interests. They tend to include people from, ahem, long distances away, because my interests are, again ahem, unusual.

Hmmm, that sounds intriguing...and well, I tried

And these things tend to come at the time and from the direction you least expect...best of luck to ya!

[Spiderdancer]

Thanks again for the input, folks - I've met a couple of fellow Christian geeks on OKCupid. I'll probably drop plentyoffish because the only contacts I get on there tend to type horribly and include ten links to YouTube clips in their very first message.

[Hucklebubba]

Blech. Pushy creeps. They clearly don't know the rule about waiting until the fourth message to even suggest Youtube clips.