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Post by Head Mutant on Sept 21, 2005 7:45:01 GMT -5
Since we have a thread giving advice for first-time dates, it'd be great to start another one where we vets of the dating industry could share some of our all-time WORST dates we've ever gone on. Takers?
A date that sticks out in my mind is back in Colorado when I was taking this girl on a drive up into the mountains to find an overlook where you could see all of Colorado Springs. Alas, I got on the wrong road which started plowing us through the mountain range instead, which was okay, but the problem was that I had consumed 16 oz. of coffee on the way up. As my stomach starts rumbling, I realize that we haven't passed ANY signs of civilization for about 15 minutes, and there was no way I was going to be able to make it back to town in time even if we had turned around right then and there.
Girl and I having a pleasant chat.
Suddenly I pull the car over and give a shrug and a "Sorry." I couldn't exactly explain what I was about to do, but I'm sure in her mind she thought, "This is it. He's taken me out into the middle of nowhere to axe me up good."
So I lept out of the car, got a roll of paper towels from the trunk, ran up into the trees, and cursed that cup of coffee. Ways to impress girls, indeed.
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Post by Lissa on Sept 21, 2005 8:29:51 GMT -5
Given that I always tended to date friends, I haven't had too many horrid dates. So I'll tell you this one instead: worst way to ask a girl out.
When I was in tenth grade, my lab partner had a crush on me. Disclaimer: my lab partner was actually a really, really nice guy, and to my knowledge, is still one to this day. It just wasn't right, y'know? Anyway, we were in the project where you dissect a fetal pig. (You can tell already this is gonna be good.) We were staying after one day to dissect the brain for extra credit (and because it was admittedly pretty cool), and we were talking with another guy on the track team who was sitting in front of us. For some reason that I don't remember, we were talking about Van Gogh, and I was telling them about how Van Gogh cut off his ear and sent it to the woman he loved. My lab partner sliced off the pig's ear and handed it to me.
A hint, guys: pickled fetal pig ears do NOT top flowers or candy for the romance factor.
(We did actually date- later- for a very short time, and we actually went to the prom together. What was very scary was that when Duckie and I attended my 10 year reunion, we ran into my lab partner. He congratulated us on our wedding and asked if my wedding dress was anything like my prom dress, which was the blue Scarlett O'Hara-esque monstrosity with tons of lace and ruffles. I assured him that no, my wedding dress was far more tasteful. Then he asked Duckie if he'd seen what my prom dress looked like, and pulled the picture out of his wallet to show him. Ten. Years. Later. Now, realistically, he's a guy. He just hadn't cleaned out his wallet in ten years. (Or he'd put it in there as a joke. I refuse to believe he's never gotten over me- it's got to be a running gag, because that's the way we've always talked and haven't talked much in the years in between.) But the look on Duckie's face (and probably my own) when he pulled out our prom picture was priceless.)
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Post by siegeshot on Sept 21, 2005 9:51:24 GMT -5
No cool stories for me, I was a bad date I guess. I was young and just didn't know better. I was easilly distracted by whatever was going on
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DTH
Ghostbuster
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Posts: 582
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Post by DTH on Sept 21, 2005 10:22:16 GMT -5
Greetinx I've previously listed my worst dating experiences on the other thread but kinda related in the whole dating thing is that I only ever seem to pull women that live in far away places... When I was in L.A. last year, I got 'friendly' with a girl who turned out to live in Kodiak, an island in Alaska :s Then, more recently, I got 'friendly' with a girl who lives in Essex (a 6 hour journey). This last Saturday, I got the number for this truly stunning girl who just happened to live in Bristol (4 hour journey). They're getting closer tho! A few more ladies and they might be in the same post code
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Post by DocD83 on Sept 21, 2005 11:51:03 GMT -5
That reminds me of how people keep telling me there's someone out there for everyone--I always say that yes, there is, but mine is a blind deaf mute quadriplegic living in India.
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Post by PoolMan on Sept 21, 2005 15:07:52 GMT -5
I didn't know that's what you were after, Doc!
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Post by DocD83 on Sept 21, 2005 15:20:09 GMT -5
Hey, wheelchairs are sexy.
...annnd I just noticed my avatar...
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Post by pfrsue on Sept 21, 2005 17:20:25 GMT -5
The worst date I can recall isn't one I can share because the perpetrator might actually surf in sometime and I'm not mean. However, I had one fun date a few years ago. It was at an Outback Steakhouse, and for whatever reason, I started to choke on a piece of steak. (It's not that it went down the wrong pipe, it just sort of got suspended halfway.) I had to heimlich myself and drank about half a gallon of water. My date? Never noticed.
Another awesome one was during my first (or was it second) date with the guy I eventually married. We were walking back to the car, when a Volkswagon Beetle drove by. I mentioned, just off the cuff, that my Dad used to own one of those and had sold it to a guy... who became a girl.
"Speaking of that," my boyfriend says, "there's something I really ought to tell you..."
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Post by kylerexpop on Sept 22, 2005 1:26:15 GMT -5
surprisingly, i haven't had too many horrific dates. or at least, the horrific stuff doesn't come out until we're actually together or it's on occasions that i don't consider dates.
that's a thread for another time.
for this one: i had a first date with this incredible girl who looked just like sarah michelle gellar (which wasn't why i asked her out, but it was a great bonus). my dad and i had to bring a bunch of old cement blocks from the side of our house to the dump, so we took them in my grandpa's truck and had one of those father-son date talks.
at the dump, while we were unloading these large, heavy slabs of concrete from the back of the truck, i swear my dad said something like "stop" or "drop it" or something. i forget what it was, or how it happened exactly, but the result of whatever happened was one of the slabs fell and hit me on the left shin and put a monstrous dent in my leg. not much blood, if any, but it sure looked like a quarter-inch dent in my shin. within a short time, though, the dent was gone because i had an orange-sized lump sticking out of my leg. it didn't really hurt to walk, thankfully, but if anything touched that spot it sure hurt.
but it really didn't ruin the date. she was sad to see i was hurt and concerned, but she didn't mind driving and let me put my foot on her chair at the restaurant, and by the time we got to play air hockey at this little arcade we went to i was barely noticing my leg.
this was a bad example. i'm sorry! i don't have a scar on my skin from that incident, but i do still have an indentation in the bone or whatever from being hit. how cool is that?
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Post by siegeshot on Sept 22, 2005 9:15:37 GMT -5
DTH you crack me up man. Just keep tryin, you'll find one close enough eventually. Hehehehehe!
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Post by TheLuckyOne on Sept 22, 2005 22:16:48 GMT -5
I seem to have escaped the dating world relatively unscathed -- can't compete with some of these -- but there were a couple of incidents. One occured earlier this year, when Lady Luck and I took my parents to the dive bar where we'd had our first date. We were talking and had just started eating our food when L.L. starts choking on her food and having trouble breathing. My father beat me to it and was actually in position, ready to give the heimlich, before she finally managed to clear her airway. Wasn't too bad for me, but rather embarrassing for the poor dear. The other incident occured a few years back, when I had just started dating a girl from my summer job. If you've never been to Princeton, there's a big Revolutionary War battlefield that's now a park in the middle of it, and set back from the road several hundred yards is a small little stone structure, just some greek columns and a place to sit, basically. It's a great place to bring dates to get a little makeout action going, because it's outdoors and secluded and all. So we park on the side of the road, walk out to the structure, sit down and talk for a while... and juuuust as I begin to make my move, a pair of headlights starts shining right on us. Before I know it, a cop car pulls up -- having driven across a huge grassy field, mind you -- to tell us the battlefield is closed for the night and we'll have to leave. Ass. I swear, I felt like punching the guy all the way back to my car. The footnote to that story being that when I eventually got home, I learned that my parents had driven by the battlefield on their way home, recognized my car, and wanted to know, *ahem*, how the date went. Gah. -D
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Post by duckie on Sept 23, 2005 17:08:00 GMT -5
The footnote to that story being that when I eventually got home, I learned that my parents had driven by the battlefield on their way home, recognized my car, and wanted to know, *ahem*, how the date went. Gah. That reminded me of a story from my youth... The last weekend before heading off to college, I decided to head out to see a movie with a couple of my female friends from the pizza shop, where I used to work. I made the mistake of telling my folks that I'd be picking up the two girls at 8PM, when they got off work. Wouldn't you know it... when I arrived to pick them up, my parents were there, in the parking lot. They said that they were just coming from the grocery store, but I KNOW they timed their departure from the grocery store to coincide with when I was showing up. After that, I stopped telling my parents about my dates. They didn't meet any of my girlfriends for years...
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Post by siegeshot on Sept 24, 2005 15:47:56 GMT -5
dukie I feel your pain man. Something almost exactly like that happened to me. LL and I were going to Office Depot to pick up some stuff and low and behold her mom was there sitting in her van eating cheese burgers waiting for us in the parking lot. It was really awkward.... it was like .... she had even left the house before us. It was like total stakeout or something.
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Post by duckie on Sept 25, 2005 10:18:58 GMT -5
LL and I were going to Office Depot... One occured earlier this year, when Lady Luck and I took my parents to the dive bar where we'd had our first date. We were talking and had just started eating our food when L.L. ... Y'all are gonna have to come up with different nicknames for your sig others... or a rumble...
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Post by duckie on Sept 25, 2005 10:22:01 GMT -5
dukie I feel your pain man. Something almost exactly like that happened to me. LL and I were going to Office Depot to pick up some stuff and low and behold her mom was there sitting in her van eating cheese burgers waiting for us in the parking lot. It was really awkward.... it was like .... she had even left the house before us. It was like total stakeout or something. I wonder if our parents do it because theirs did it to them... and I wonder about this a bit, since we'll ultimately have a boy that, at some point, will be old enough to date (yea, in 16 years, but it will eventually happen). I've got plenty of time to think about what I'll do to thoroughly embarass him, since it would appear that embarassment by your parents is a rite of passage that all teenagers must endure
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