Mad as hell much?

[PoolMan]

Hey gang!

Ever since I wrote this, I've had an unanswered question kind of buzzing around my head. Am I REALLY the only person who feels this way? Most of my friends are pretty sympathetic to what makes me angry in a movie theater, but at the same time I get some mighty funny looks if I call somebody on their bad behaviour.

So, spill. Do other people in theaters bother you? Have any examples or good stories? Or, alternately, am I completely off my rocker, and it should be a new social standard for someone to take a phone call in the middle of a movie?

[Ms. Jellybean]

I think you're completely sane, and there's a columnist for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution who writes under the pen name Alan Smithee who's got gripes all the time about rude people in movie theaters.

www.ajc.com/search/content/auto/epaper/editions/today/movies_more_34ce919855ae30e9007b.html

I myself haven't had any particularly bad experiences, with the exception of some chattering teenyboppers at Pirates of the Caribbean. But that was to be expected, really.

[Magill]

You're not alone--I tend to get very frustrated at people being obviously (and oftentimes obliviously) behaving rudely in public. I'm not afraid to call them on it, which I'm sure makes me rude in their eyes. Example--as I was walking home yesterday (I live downtown and just a couple blocks from the basketball arena here), I had to yell at some driver who just had to try (and fail) to make it through the intersection before the light changed. They got stuck behind traffic waiting for the next light, and ended up blocking the crosswalk and part of the cross street. I wish there were more signs around here like those in California, saying "Do not block intersection."

Though isn't it sad that people need to be told that?

[Head Mutant]

Nope, you're definitely not alone. My personal observations are that people are growing more rude and acting like complete jerks in public, to the point where we really are regressing as a civilization instead of advancing. Our technology, our conveniences, our lack of respect for fellow people translates into all sorts of common problems:

(1) General lack of manners
(2) Cell phones freaking everywhere
(3) Road rage

and, of course

(4) Baboons in the movie theaters.

I honestly just don't go to theaters that often any more. I think a lot of people are starting to feel the same way: a movie comes out and we weigh the pros and cons of going to the theater:

PROS: You get to see it right then, big screen, big sound, eats up time for a date night or a social activity.

CONS: High cost, movie's coming out to video within a few months anyway, home theaters are more comfy, rude people, loud people, people obstructing your view, long pre-movie ads, high cost of concessions, and so on.

So when Hollywood keeps putting out worried articles and quotes about how box office take keeps going down and wondering why, I just laugh. It's far too obvious: the movies they're making, by and large, are not compelling enough to overcome the inconveniences of going to see them.

Shoot, I don't even bother waging an in-theater war of glaring, shushing and seat moving with jerks any more. I just avoid them altogether. And our civilization breaks down just a bit more, as we retreat into our home theater cocoons.

[Big T]

I have a few stories to share, these were so bad that they have stuck in my relatively poor memory for ever.
1) The Movie: Titan A.E.
The Problem: A 12 year-old kid deciding that it was necessary to give a running commentary and explanation of what was going on in the film. What made this even more annoying was that he spoke so loud that he could be heard over the movies sound effects and blasting score, and furthermore this kid was making the commentary to himself , there was no one else with him! Me being a shy person I just didn't have the guts to tell off the little kid, but I have grown much since then and would gladly give the punk a piece of my mind.

2) During Matrix Reloaded some guy fell asleep in the back row and began snoring, thereby drowning out the lengthy dialogue. Nuff sed.

[DocD83]

I've been relatively lucky in that most of the time in theaters everyone is well behaved. The closest I've come to distraction in the theater is when the crowd laughs at really inappropriate moments, like that bit in the Two Towers when Theoden says something about unsheathing swords. Or when I was watching Syrianna--some guy made some wierd wheeze/cough/god-knows-what sound for five minutes in the back row just as the movie was starting. I can't get mad at him though because I don't know if he was having trouble breathing or what. Or when I was watching O and the crowd was just generally rowdy, but that was a free showing for college students so it's to be expected.

I seriously think those three things are the only incidents I've had.

In fact I've had more trouble with people being noisy jerks when we're watching movies at someone else's home. It's happened with Twelve Monkeys (I asked if they could either turn the movie up or themselves down and they got the point after only a few threats on my life...those drunken jerks), the Godfather, and, just last night, with The Devil's Rejects--none of which I had ever seen before, so it was all the more important I concentrate on the film. I was angry at that last one until I realized that movie is a steaming pile of s***. It's ironic that all they talked about was how great the movie was.

[DarthToad]

This could be hard to do now becaue of how things are different, but what I'd do is go to smaller theaters, but not ones that are completely empty, because there's more of a community atmosphere there, and if people are distruptive it's usually more good-natured disruptive instead of being annoying (and there is a very thin line between the two I must say). I guess it also depends on the type of movie. But yeah, movie theaters can be very hard to go to now, I'll agree with that one.

[Spiderdancer]

Funny story. Sibling 2 and I went to see Doom together (my first time; I went again with Dad). There were five people in the theater. Sib 2 and I were chatting through the stupid silent ads that are the theater's placeholder before the previews start. (You know, the ones with inane trivia questions like "What color was Reese Witherspoon's hair in Legally Blonde?")

So then, thoughtlessly, I leaned back and put my feet up on the back of the seat in front of us. One of the four other people in the theater, a guy in his 40s, immediately said, "Put your feet down, please!" in the kind of stern voice you normally would use to ask someone not to smoke in a daycare. He was not directly behind us. I was not obscuring his view. The movie had not started. But he was deeply, deeply offended that I had put my feet up.

I'm trending toward watching things only on DVD more and more lately.

[Head Mutant]

Um... was it blonde?

[Al]

The last two movies I've watched in strange company were utter debacles.

Last week was Freedomland, which I went to see with a buddy of mine on Tuesday Tight Night ($5 tickets), forgetting it was february vacation in the highschools. Thank God it was an R-rated movie, and thus there were only about 30 of us in the theater, but what an awful, awful experience. Oftentimes, if there's only one or two people talking and I know I'm not the only person being annoyed, I have few reservations about standing up, turning around, and speaking to the offending jerkwad, but when everybody in the room is providing nonstop commentary, that becomes an exercise in pointlessness. Aside from myself and my friend and one older couple several rows up, every single person in the theater was engaged in a conversation with their idiot friends. All of them. There was truly no point in saying anything, because the chances of me being heard (let alone cared about) were slim and none. If I knew there was anyone in the building who would have given a hoot at that time of night, I would have complained to a manager (and having worked in two movie theaters and dealt with my share of angry customers, that's not something I do lightly). Freedomland was not a fantastic movie, but I was so distracted and frustrated with the experience that I was unable to separate the film from the people I saw it with and was left with no opinion whatsoever. The worst five bucks I've spent in years.

The other was last Wednesday (I think), over a college buddy's house. He had *ahem* procured a dvd quality copy of Walk the Line, which the two of us sat down to watch with his girlfriend and his mother in the living room. To the best of my recollection, this is a transcript of the first five minutes:

HIS MOM: So Heather, blah blah blah blah... ... wait ... hon, turn it back. Go back to the part with the saw. I missed it. Go-- go back. Yeah, thanks.

(my friend restarts the movie)

HIS MOM: Okay. 1968. Wait... what was the name of the prison? I missed it. Did anyone see the name? Of the prison? Did...?
ME: Folsom.
HIS MOM: Folsom?
ME: Yes, Folsom Prison. It's a song.
HIS MOM: Oh, okay. I--I just like to take in as much as possible when I watch movies, y'know? Especially when they're supposed to be as good as this one. ... ... ... Okay, so, the band's playing ... this guy is supposed to be out there with them, but he's in the back instead reflecting on his life... okay... now it's 1944. Right after World War 2. Right? After? Was it after? After or during? It think it's after. After.
ME: (sigh) During. World War 2 ended in 1945.
HIS MOM: And it started in 1941, right? A five year war? Was it 1941?
ME (unable to restrain nitpicking): Well, yeah, for us. But it was going on in Europe for years before we were involved.
HIS MOM: Oh. You would know that. You're so smart, Alan. You would know something like that. You would. So there's two kids. Now which one's Johnny Cash? Do we know?
{fin}

And it continued from there. Thankfully, it died down as she got sucked in to the plot, but I spent the entire movie on tenthooks, bracing myself for the next asinine comment. This was even worse, I think, because his mom is such an awesome person and I felt sort of bad sitting there and imagining all the terrible things I wanted to scream at her. This is why I watch movies alone.

Al

[PoolMan]

Tee hee. Alan.

[pfrsue]

All right, my turn. Worst experience ever in a theater. T'was the third time I went to see Revenge of the Sith. Why are you all looking at me like that? Stop it. Stop snickering!

Anyway, I went with a guy I'd kinda sorta been going out with once in a while in a strictly 'we're friends and why not share the occasional meal' kind of way. He's in his fifties, nice guy, funny and pretty smart. In most ways. In some ways he's apparently criminally obtuse. I didn't know that at the time.

He picked me up later than planned in this case, and decided that he really wanted to go to a fast food place and eat first, even though we were definitely pressed for time. He didn't seem worried, and he certainly didn't rush through his meal. (I didn't eat anything - there's a giveaway right there that things are not right in Sue-World.)

So I'll admit that I was already a little disconcerted when we got to the theater and the movie had already started. (I don't like walking in that late - I think it's rude to the other people in there to be fumbling around for seats and getting settled in while they're trying to watch. By myself, I wouldn't go in if I was late.)

So we found our seats and knowing that I'd already seen the movie, my friend immediately asks me to explain what he's missed - including the entire contents of the first two prequels. He does this in a louder-than-usual conversational tone. (Possibly because of the explosions on screen.) I tell him (quietly) just to watch and he'll pick it up as we go. Then he starts doing a running play by play as he tries to orient himself with the plot. "Okay, so they're running down a corridor, but where are they going? What ship are they on? Who does it belong to? They're at war with someone, right?"

I am irritated.

Anyway, just when I think he's winding down, his cell phone goes off. No it doesn't make any noise, but it's one of those phones that hook onto your ear and it announces itself by blinking a bright blue strobe light. And blinking. And blinking.

All I can see, or anyone within a twenty yard radius can see, is this light that would put a police cruiser to shame.

"Your phone is going off," I finally say through clenched teeth.

"I know," he answers, intent on the movie. He makes no move to... I don't know, turn the freakin' light off?

I don't want to make a scene. I really don't. But after about five minutes of this, I say, "That light is really REALLY distracting. I think it's bothering people."

"Oh." So he takes it off his ear, and holds it in his hand instead. The light is still blinking... blinking....blinking. It's so bright, that his hand can't contain it. It's in my eyes. Boring into my brain. It's a modern age Chinese water torture.

"I wonder if it's important?" he says after twenty minutes.

I'm practically incoherent.

"Maybe I should go see who called," he says fifteen minutes after that.

"Maybe.... you..... should."

"Okay. Back in a flash!"

When he came back, the phone was no longer blinking, but I couldn't help but notice it was back on his ear. For the rest of the movie, I sat in utter, abject dread of someone calling him again. I knew if it started blinking, I was going to leave. Just leave. It wasn't too far to walk home. I'd have done it. Luckily, it wasn't necessary, but I seriously didn't enjoy (or even notice) the movie after that incident.

If that had been the first time I'd gone to see RotS, I think a murder would have been committed. No, I know a murder would have been committed.

[Head Mutant]

Sue's gonna be one of those people who we'll eventually have to describe to the police as, "Why no, officer, she always seemed like a nice lady. No, I have no idea what would set her off on a flamethrower rampage of the downtown area."

[DocD83]

If that ever does happen, Sue, give me a call so I can join in. I'm always up for a "screw the world and everything in it" rampage with quirky yet effective weaponry.

[pfrsue]

Flamethrowers are great for a rampage, I have to admit. But still, there's nothing like a chainsaw for that up-close and very personal touch.