BAD christmas gifts

[pfrsue]

admin said:

That's my new random Sue quote: "I don't make soup."

I'm a sig line! I'm so happy! This is the bestest Christmas ever!

[hoichi]

This Christmas my wife received Gastrointeritis from the salad bar of a Brazilian BBQ place nearby. Vomiting and diarrhea for 2 nights straight.

On Christmas eve her condition was seemingly over. We went over to my brother's place for dinner. He had received a creme brule blowtorch (as a wedding gift I think). He was torching the sugar for the top of the pudding.

As he handed a molten sugar/pudding cup to me, it got on my thumb, leaving 2nd degree burns. Luckily my sister-in-law is a nurse and had all the 1st aid equipment readily available.

Christmas morning was punctuated by my wife's uncontrollable poop and vomiting. I had to take her to the ER where they hooked her up to an IV drip to rehydrate her.

Luckily both of us are healing nicely. ;D

It could have been worse. Thinking of Christmas day for James Brown's relatives.

[Spiderdancer]

Ouch. Sorry to hear that, friend.

I got a small aquarium. For my scorpion. Which died last week. Also the aquarium has no lid and is shaped like a goldfish.

For those not getting it, scorpions eat crickets, and trying to keep crickets in an aquarium with no lid is like trying to keep eggnog (seasonally appropriate metaphor!) in a stocking.

Perhaps I will get a goldfish.

[Head Mutant]

I think I speak for us all when I say that I cannot wait to hear what morbidly fascinating fact that you unveil about the lethality of goldfishes.

[lexi]

I just have to ask, Star0pal, who gave you a box of meat? I don't think I know anyone who would go Christmas shopping and think "Oh, I know what I'll get for her! MEAT!"

It seems like a very random Christmas present. Try giving that person a couple of cans of tinned salmon for their birthday?

[StarOpal]

lexi, wanna know the kicker? This relative sent me more meat this year... because I loved it so much last year (!). I don't know where she got that from, but okay.

It's terrible that in her mid-thirties she's heading down the road to crazy old lady gifts so fast. I just know, someday, I'll actually be saying the words, "That'll be her jello mold, put it in the kitchen."

I guess I'll have to try to tactfully break the news to her that I didn't like it.

[Head Mutant]

lexi said:

I just have to ask, Star0pal, who gave you a box of meat? I don't think I know anyone who would go Christmas shopping and think Oh, I know what I'll get for her! MEAT!

Actually, my brother sent me a package of steaks for Christmas... I thought it was odd at first, then pretty cool. Because, you know, steak!

[varana]

I got some really interesting spice mixes. I think they were a lovely gift. Handblended "secret" mixes from Pakistani and Kenyan women respectfully. I'm sure I'll find some nice way of incorporating them in my cooking.

[Spiderdancer]

...Respectively, perhaps?...

I'm sure they were respectful, too.

[devilndisguise]

did this somehow turn into a "good" christmas gifts thread?...if so...I got the love of my life an upright bass for Christmas (like a cello but picked or strummed like a guitar and used in rockabilly (among others) music). and he cried~(i'm not allowed to tell anyone that part, but he was soooooo excited and happy it just overflowed out his eyes!). And I totally fooled him...I snuck the bass down to where we were having christmas (his sister's house) the week before (it's 6' x 3'...kinda hard not to notice that if I had taken it down with him). and I wrapped up a ring box for him and Christmas morning he opens up the ring box (swearing he knew what his present was), to be confronted by a note saying "i love you babe! there was no way your present would fit in this box! why don't you ask your sister for it?", he looks up and out his sister comes with the huge bass! He was FLOORED! (he really really wanted one, but they are a bit pricey so i didn't think I'd be able to get one for him, but then it just sort of worked out!). Anyways whoever said it was better to give than recieve totally got it right, that was the most awesome moment ever!

(although yes he did get me a couple really great presents and that was pretty great too)

[lexi]

Hmm. Well, Head Mutant, you have proved me wrong...I'll have to ask more people what kind of presents they got.

It just goes to show what you can discover in a place like this. I can see the headline now: "Mutant Reviewers give meat to the world!"

[Head Mutant]

Commence with the meat jokes.

[coccatino]

pink. paisley. ankle-zip. jeans.
No Lie. I got them last year from my non-blood-related-uncle's mom. I have tried year after year to remind her that she really needn't buy me anything... seriously... and every year a horrible surprise awaits me.
I can't even begin to imagine where she found them in the first place. They weren't from goodwill- they had actual manufacturer's tags on them. My horrified response was "wow!" to which she replied "Aren't they great?!?! I've never seen you wear anything like that, so I thought you might like them!"
What kind of logic is that??? Seriously? The previous year she bought me a Chia Pet... the best part is that she buys everyone else completely normal gifts. My sister gets a sweater.
I haven't yet driven to NJ to see that side of the family yet... so I don't know what awaits me this year.

[PoolMan]

My mom, for whatever reason, decided to give me Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." Board Game for Christmas this year.

Whiskey.

Tango.

FOXTROT?!?

[duckie]

Shouldn't that be...

Whiskey.

Tango.

FOXWORTHY?!?


I didn't even know a game existed... lemme guess, available at fine stores such as Spencer's!