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Post by Ms. Jellybean on Apr 27, 2004 15:09:36 GMT -5
That took me a couple of seconds, but thankfully, I got it before I went off to tell someone else. If I had to explain it... ooh boy.
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Post by DocD83 on Apr 28, 2004 21:03:35 GMT -5
Someone who's more experienced at cooking than I am, tell me--is it normal for your food in the oven to burn a hole through aluminum foil? I was roasting some chicken with aluminum foil on top (who wants to baste?), and when I checked it some liquid had bubbled through and crusted on the outside. The aluminum ripped like tissue paper at that spot.
The chicken was delcious anyway. McCormack should bottle aluminum powder.
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Post by Head Mutant on Nov 13, 2004 12:13:53 GMT -5
[about my fiancee's tendancy to suddenly appear at my place]
ME: But what if I come home with a hooker on each arm?
HER: Buddy, if you come in with two hookers, one of them better be for me!
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Post by Ms. Jellybean on Nov 15, 2004 11:34:37 GMT -5
A joke I heard...
A woman walked into a general store and saw a huge brass rat standing by the door. She rather liked it and asked the store owner if it was for sale.
"$50 for the rat, and $200 for the story that goes with it."
The woman decided to buy the rat, sans story. As she was driving home, she noticed that every rat in town began to follow her car. She was on a bridge and stopped, throwing the rat out the window into the water. All of the rats jumped into the water after it.
She went back to the store and briskly walked up to the owner. The owner asked, "Still want to know the story?"
"No," replied the woman. "I want to know if you have a brass man."
;D
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Post by TheOogieBoogieMan on Nov 15, 2004 14:12:37 GMT -5
Joke time...
A Briton, a Canadian, and an American have all committed a horrible crime and are sentenced to be whipped 10 times.
The American is the first to be whipped. But first, the Whipmaster asks him "What is your favorite movie?". The American responds "Star Wars". The Whipmaster says "Ok, that's a good movie, so I'll let you have one wish before you get whipped.". The American asks to have a piece of cloth strapped to his back to soften the blow. He gets his wish, but the cloth rips during the whipping, and the American feels all the pain.
The Briton is next. The Whipmaster asks what his favorite movie is and he replies "Jaws". The Whipmaster agrees that it is a good movie and allows him a wish before getting whipped. The Briton asks to have a pillow strapped to his back to soften the blow. He gets the pillow, but it gets torn from the whip and the Briton feels all the pain anyway.
The Canadian is last. The Whipmaster asks him what his favorite movie is and he replies "Raiders of the Lost Ark". The Whipmaster exclaims "Hey, that's my favorite movie too! Because we have the same favorite movie, you get two wishes before you get whipped."
The Canadian says bravely, "I wish to be whipped 100 times." The Whipmaster is confused but accepts it and asks the Canadian what his other wish is. He responds, "I wish to have the American strapped to my back to soften the blow."
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Post by Lissa on Nov 16, 2004 8:03:16 GMT -5
And yet none of them wish simply not to be whipped?
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Post by DocD83 on Nov 16, 2004 8:08:32 GMT -5
I heard a version where the Brit wanted a Frenchman strapped to his back.
I always figured they figured that's the one wish the guy wouldn't grant. He's a professional whipper, after all, and he has a job to do.
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Post by PoolMan on Nov 16, 2004 10:48:15 GMT -5
He's a professional whipper, after all, and he has a job to do. Now THAT'S funny. ;D But guys. This isn't a joke link. It's the funny stuff that you hear out there! In the real world! (or "IRL" if you prefer) |
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Post by TheOogieBoogieMan on Nov 16, 2004 14:01:32 GMT -5
Oh I see. All of a sudden, we're not allowed to hear jokes IRL?  |
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Post by PoolMan on Nov 16, 2004 14:19:59 GMT -5
Oh never mind. Do what you like. Far be it from me to be the rainer-on of parades (that's Justin's job). |
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Post by DocD83 on Nov 16, 2004 16:41:14 GMT -5
That's like when I play Scrabble, and someone demands that I use my word in a sentence, I say, "I saw '[word]' in a book." Technically it fits, but come on.
[pimping my site] If you want jokes, you could follow that link in my profile. [/pimping my site]
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Post by Head Mutant on Nov 16, 2004 17:05:08 GMT -5
Just make a jokes thread... we used to have one, actually!
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Post by duckie on Nov 16, 2004 17:06:23 GMT -5
Someone played the Bush / Blair "Endless Love" read-my-lips video for me today... that was the funniest thing I've seen (or heard) in quite a while... ;D
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Post by Head Mutant on Nov 16, 2004 20:29:36 GMT -5
Fiancee: If you keep doing that, I'm going to be mad at you forever! I'll still love you, but it'll be an angry love!
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Post by Lissa on Nov 17, 2004 12:44:44 GMT -5
Is anyone else getting the impression that Justin REALLY likes typing the word fiancee? (Not that I blame him, but...) |
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