Post by bigtuna on Jul 11, 2008 10:36:48 GMT -5
I've decided to change the format for my reviews. Instead of doing one long review for one movie, I'm going to do 4 mini reviews, of the following: (i hope 4 mini reviews is allowed, because i read in the rules after i posted this that threads can be deleted for being too short)
Dog Soldiers
Hulk (2003)
Reservoir Dogs
Ichi the Killer
Dog Soldiers
Directed by Neil Marshall
Starring Sean Pertwee, Kevin Mckidd, Liam Cunningham, Emma Cleasby
This movie was cool. Mostly because it's about werewolves, but also because of Sean Pertwee. You could take the worst movie ever (cough, house of the dead) and put Sean Pertwee in it, and it would automatically be 32% better. Anywho, back to the film. the werewolves actually look kinda silly. The Soldiers are AWESOME though. In most horror movies that feature soldiers, most of them may as well not even be there, because they get taken out so fast( sorry colonial marines, but i'm referring to you). these guys, though, are badass. they will ruin your day. there's one scene where a guy runs out of bullets so he starts punching the (poop) out of one of the werewolves, and then when it finally eats him, he's like "I HOPE I GIVE YOU THE (poops)" because he's just that cool. that's really all i have to say about Dog Soldiers, but to make this review 32% better, here's Sean Pertwee:
Hulk 2003
Directed by Ang Lee
Starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliot, Nick Nolte, Josh Lucas
The first time i saw this movie, i thought it was garbage. But i was like, 15, so what did i know? Nothing, that's what. Anywho, i have this thing where i go back and re-watch movies i hated to see if they were really as awful as i remember. Sometimes they are (AVP, West Side Story), and sometimes they aren't (Sound of Music). Hulk is in the latter category. The transitions are cool, the music is cool, Jennifer Connelly is reasonably attractive, Eric Bana's silly faces when hulking out are pure gold, and the hulk scenes are awesome. HE THROWS A F-ING TANK!!! WHO DOES THAT?! the hulk, that's who. Also, Sam Elliot was born to play Thunderbolt Ross.
Reservoir Dogs
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Tim Roth, Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, Chris Penn, Michael Madsen
I want to say right off the bat: THIS MOVIE IS F-ING AWESOME!!! totally ground breaking. man. loves it. holy crap. starts off with a hilarious monologue about madonna, and then goes into the opening credits, which happen to be the only instance of Ray-bans ever being cool. Granted, the majority of the film is dialogue, with the f-word once every 2.7 seconds, so it's kinda slow. but every once in a while, something super cool happens. basically, everything in this movie is awesome: the acting (Tim Roth especially) the dialogue, the soundtrack, (every time i hear Stuck in the Middle With You i want to cut someone's ear off.) everything. see this movie.
as an added bonus with the review, here is a picture of Steve Buscemi being a f-ing professional:
and finally
Ichi the Killer
Directed By Takashi Miike.
Starring Tadanobu Asano, Nao Omori, Shinya Tsukamoto, Paulyn Sun, Shun Sugata.
I'm very fond of this movie. One time, i brought it over to a friend's house, and we all watched it. everyone was mortified. My one friend decided that because of this movie, he hated Japan, and demanded that Emperor Akihito give a formal apology on behalf of the entire country for the film. In other news, there's lots of gore, torture, rape, and all that stuff, so if you can't handle that sort of stuff, avoid this film like the plague. sometimes the gore is (bad) CG, which makes me sad, but the part where Kakihara cuts his own tongue off totally makes up for that. The music is kind of odd, and the story can be sort of confusing, but lets face it, if you're watching a movie like this, you're in it for the gore, not the story.
Dog Soldiers
Hulk (2003)
Reservoir Dogs
Ichi the Killer
Dog Soldiers
Directed by Neil Marshall
Starring Sean Pertwee, Kevin Mckidd, Liam Cunningham, Emma Cleasby
This movie was cool. Mostly because it's about werewolves, but also because of Sean Pertwee. You could take the worst movie ever (cough, house of the dead) and put Sean Pertwee in it, and it would automatically be 32% better. Anywho, back to the film. the werewolves actually look kinda silly. The Soldiers are AWESOME though. In most horror movies that feature soldiers, most of them may as well not even be there, because they get taken out so fast( sorry colonial marines, but i'm referring to you). these guys, though, are badass. they will ruin your day. there's one scene where a guy runs out of bullets so he starts punching the (poop) out of one of the werewolves, and then when it finally eats him, he's like "I HOPE I GIVE YOU THE (poops)" because he's just that cool. that's really all i have to say about Dog Soldiers, but to make this review 32% better, here's Sean Pertwee:
Hulk 2003
Directed by Ang Lee
Starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliot, Nick Nolte, Josh Lucas
The first time i saw this movie, i thought it was garbage. But i was like, 15, so what did i know? Nothing, that's what. Anywho, i have this thing where i go back and re-watch movies i hated to see if they were really as awful as i remember. Sometimes they are (AVP, West Side Story), and sometimes they aren't (Sound of Music). Hulk is in the latter category. The transitions are cool, the music is cool, Jennifer Connelly is reasonably attractive, Eric Bana's silly faces when hulking out are pure gold, and the hulk scenes are awesome. HE THROWS A F-ING TANK!!! WHO DOES THAT?! the hulk, that's who. Also, Sam Elliot was born to play Thunderbolt Ross.
Reservoir Dogs
Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Tim Roth, Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, Chris Penn, Michael Madsen
I want to say right off the bat: THIS MOVIE IS F-ING AWESOME!!! totally ground breaking. man. loves it. holy crap. starts off with a hilarious monologue about madonna, and then goes into the opening credits, which happen to be the only instance of Ray-bans ever being cool. Granted, the majority of the film is dialogue, with the f-word once every 2.7 seconds, so it's kinda slow. but every once in a while, something super cool happens. basically, everything in this movie is awesome: the acting (Tim Roth especially) the dialogue, the soundtrack, (every time i hear Stuck in the Middle With You i want to cut someone's ear off.) everything. see this movie.
as an added bonus with the review, here is a picture of Steve Buscemi being a f-ing professional:
and finally
Ichi the Killer
Directed By Takashi Miike.
Starring Tadanobu Asano, Nao Omori, Shinya Tsukamoto, Paulyn Sun, Shun Sugata.
I'm very fond of this movie. One time, i brought it over to a friend's house, and we all watched it. everyone was mortified. My one friend decided that because of this movie, he hated Japan, and demanded that Emperor Akihito give a formal apology on behalf of the entire country for the film. In other news, there's lots of gore, torture, rape, and all that stuff, so if you can't handle that sort of stuff, avoid this film like the plague. sometimes the gore is (bad) CG, which makes me sad, but the part where Kakihara cuts his own tongue off totally makes up for that. The music is kind of odd, and the story can be sort of confusing, but lets face it, if you're watching a movie like this, you're in it for the gore, not the story.