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Post by DocD83 on Apr 16, 2004 0:39:28 GMT -5
Aww, don't be sad. Just comb the sweet tarts out of your beard and you'll be a hit with the ladies.
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Post by bladestarr on Apr 16, 2004 2:28:41 GMT -5
But I'm saving those for an emergency food supply! ;D
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Post by TheLuckyOne on Apr 16, 2004 9:31:27 GMT -5
Ya gotta love how they use Grade-F meat in the cafeteria. Contents? "Mostly circus animals, some filler."
Homer, about to die: "Marge, I've always loved you. Bart, you were a worthy foe."
Skinner: "Well, there's always behavior modification drugs. How wedded are you to the Bart you know now?"
Homer: "Not very."
Homer, reflecting on Marge's pregnancy with Lisa: "It wasn't easy, juggling a pregnant wife and a troubled toddler, but somehow I still managed to find time to watch 14 hours of quality programming a day."
Marge: "Homer, there's going to be twice as much love in our family soon!"
Homer: "You mean we're gonna start doing it in the morning too?"
Marge: "No! We're going to have another baby!"
Homer: *gasp* "Marge, that's--"
Baby Bart: "Bye-bye, keys!" *flush*
Homer: "D'oooooooooooh!"
And one of the greatest exchanges they've ever had on the show (for those of us who hate surly comic geeks for giving the rest of us a bad name):
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, I would like to return this quote unquote 'Ultimate Belt'."
"Well, quote unquote 'sir,' you got a receipt?"
"No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the recent Star Trek convention. Though I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-size belt."
"Wow, a fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan- you must be a killer with the ladies."
"Well I--"
"Sorry, Casanova- no receipt, no return."
"I'll give you five bucks for it."
*sigh* "Very well. I must get back to my store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them."
"I don't suppose you would care to go out?"
"Comb the sweet tarts out of your beard and you're on!"
"Don't try to change me, baby."
-D
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Post by awesomecolin on Apr 18, 2004 3:06:36 GMT -5
Absolute best Simpsons qoute ever
Skinner: Willy, go into the vent and get him.
Willy: What? Have you gone waxy in your peaster? I cannot fit in tha' wee vent, you croquet-playing mint muncher.
Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in, you...you guff-speaking work-slacker.
Willy: Ooh, good comeback.
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Post by Head Mutant on Apr 18, 2004 7:33:54 GMT -5
"They've even got Groundskeeper Willy teaching French."
"Bonjourrrrrrrr you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
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Post by PoolMan on Apr 18, 2004 13:10:33 GMT -5
Hahaha.... believe me, THAT one irritates the French.  |
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Post by DocD83 on Apr 18, 2004 15:11:33 GMT -5
Oh! DON'T call them surrender-monkeys!
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Post by TheLuckyOne on Apr 19, 2004 11:11:59 GMT -5
Why not? Are we to understand that one of them would take a swing at us?  Lisa: "You mean... I'm not the smart one anymore?" Marge: "Aw, don't worry, sweetie- I love all my children equally. The smart one and the others." Bart, smirking: "Welcome to... 'the others'!" Lisa: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" As for the two episodes on last night... yeesh. I vacillate constantly on whether the show has run it's course and should be brought to an end or not, but those were definitely not helping my "It's still got legs!" argument any. So they went to all the trouble of believably building up the Skinner/Krabappel romance over the course of a few seasons... had him finally overcome his mother's browbeating to propose to her last season (not that that episode was any great shakes either)... and then just ditched it entirely in the course of an episode to have her hook up with Comic Book Guy for no reason? And then dump him for no reason (not that anyone could blame her), but not go back to Skinner? Man. I'll give CBG credit for landing both of Skinner's women (ewww), but really, that episode was pretty terrible. Did the Matt Groening guest appearance add anything? The man's given us so much, why did he put himself in that episode, of all the ones he could've chosen? And then, of course, a rerun of the Evita parody. 'Nuff said. "24" was a veritable wellspring of optimism in comparison... and it was the most depressing episode ever. -D |
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Post by Head Mutant on Apr 19, 2004 21:18:50 GMT -5
Okay, I thought the Evita ep was one of the best they've had... not to mention very funny ("I'm Milhouse! I tuck my shirt into my underwear! I have no friends so I have to confide in Willy!").
But you're right, that Skinner wedding episode was... oddly bad. Mostly because it's just such a downer ending to a long-running romance -- which makes me think that the Simpson writers have been stolen from the Buffy team, since a lot of relationships have soured (Kirk's divorce with Louanne; Apu's cheating on his wife). On the other hand, any show where they put Skinner in a Catwoman outfit and make him fight a fat guy dressed as a Klingon has some entertainment value.
Not a great ep, but overall it's been a pretty good season, I think.
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Post by Head Mutant on Apr 20, 2004 19:08:02 GMT -5
[at the movie theater]
Lisa: "Dad, I don't like this movie. Can we go home?"
Homer: "Oh honey don't be scared. Look, they killed the evil doll." [Lisa cries] "Oh whaddya know, it's unkillable!"
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Post by Head Mutant on Apr 24, 2004 14:04:59 GMT -5
Artie: Doesn't your father ever read to you?
Lisa: He tried once but he got confused and thought the book was real. He's still looking for that chocolate factory. It consumes him.
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Post by YMD on Apr 29, 2004 22:13:04 GMT -5
Family: Homer
Simpson.
Homer Simpson.
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the town of Springfield...
He's about to hit a chestnut tree...
AHH!!!
Non-family: Chief Wigum
Wigum - "This had better be important, I had to leave Ralphie in the tub."
Ralph (over radio) - "I'm ready to get out now. Over."
*sigh* I always had to point that joke out to people...
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Post by DocD83 on Apr 30, 2004 8:08:17 GMT -5
I love this exchange, from an otherwise mediocre episode:
Skinner: She should learn to read things before she signs them.
Lisa: [comes back in the door] I was just wondering if I should read what I just signed?
Skinner: Oh it's just standard key release boiler plate.
Lisa: Oh ok. [she leaves, skinner closes the door]
Skinner: Boy, she'll believe anything.
Lisa: [opens door] Key release boiler plate? I find that hard to believe.
Skinner: And yet, there it is. [shoves lisa out the door] I'll just lock this now. [locks door and starts to walk away, door opens]
Lisa: Boy this key opens everything!
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Post by Head Mutant on Apr 30, 2004 17:43:48 GMT -5
[walking through a sewer pipe]
Homer: NOW do you believe dead rats float, Lisa?
Lisa: [scared] ...yes...
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Post by TheOogieBoogieMan on May 3, 2004 21:46:22 GMT -5
Greta: I'm sorry Milhouse. I'm just looking for someone more masculine.
Milhouse: I told you, i don't know how that scrunchie got in my hair!
Cletus: Hey, Kids, we're eating dinner tonight! Come on, Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phil.
Hans Moleman: Oh no...my brains.
Groundskeeper Willy: Ah, they'll never last. Brothers and Sisters are natural enemies, like the Scots against the English...and the Scots against the Japanese...and Socts against other Scots...lousy Scots, they ruined Scotland!!!
Bart: I guess this is goodbye, Wendell.
Lewis:He's Wendell. I'm Lewis
Bart: Whatever, just tell Wendell I said bye
Hans Moleman: My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!
My favorite family member is Grandpa. My favorite non-family member is...Hans Moleman, without a doubt. There's nothing funnier than a small, sad old man
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