meet and greet, everybody! (this means you!)

[kylerexpop]

now that it's christmas time, i'm reminded that more than ever this is a time to be thankful for the people that i know and that help contribute to alleviating the extreme boredom that is "reality." so i'd like to be thankful for all you guys!

sadly, i don't know any of you. i know a few, but only in passing, and we use humorous nicknames and the same tired old anecdotes to avoid actual conversation. let's change that, yeah?

the best way to do it, if i follow the example set by rich (or "ol' monkey stone" as i call him), is to start up a big long thread full of personal questions, a friendly atmosphere to encourage truthful answers, and occasionally using a colorful font to type. everything is better in COLOR!!!

this might fail. that's fine, too. the holidays are all about making the effort, hoping things work out, and buying yourself something nice so that you end up not caring one way or the other. last year it was a game boy advance special edition; last wednesday it was an ipod. for christmas, it'll probably be a neat new zero skateboard. we'll see. on to the questions!

1. what is your most recent embarrassing moment (that you're willing to share)?

2. is there anything that is coming out to buy that you want so much for christmas you're prepared to buy it for yourself?

3. what traditional event or moment do you have to experience in order for you to realize "ah, it's christmas time!" (or "ah, it's december; the last month of the year!" if you don't celebrate christmas)

4. do you intend to spread holiday cheer this season or what?

if you get a chance, answer all or most of these questions. it'll be fun! no, really! especially if you're a new recruit to the green-dominant world of mutantity: it's so cool and comforting like a pulsating security blanket, isn't it? yes, sir!

[kylerexpop]

well, hello, captainkyle. i'm captainkyle! here are my answers!

1. oh, actually, it was just last saturday (dec. 4). i was wandering the big mall in brea and realized i needed a snappy new pair of jeans (still!). so i made semi-flirty conversation with the hot tattooed skater grrrl at some beach/board shop, and took a pair of hurley jeans back to a dressing. to my intense consternation, THEY DID NOT FIT. size 34s, my size, and they wouldn't even zip up. i was near tears, thinking if all the in-and-out burgers and chinese food i've been eating could have swelled my hindquarters to outrageous proportions. how could i live? thankfully, after prying the jeans off my body, i saw that although a big sticker on the left leg said "size 34 size 34 size 34 size 34" over and over the tag inside said "31/32." whew! i'm still only overweight in the cheeks in my face, i passed on those jeans because they didn't seem thin enough anyway, and that skater girl worker smiled at me as i left and gave me a look that was like "you fat ******* pig." a pretty nice saturday!

2. i want that nirvana box set, but i've made enough hints that if sarah or melissa don't get it for me, then someone will be burning copies for me. guilt is a great tool, isn't it? meanwhile, you can bet your favorite elf's butt that first thing tomorrow (december 7) i'm going to be at my local music store, buying lindsay lohan's debut album. lohan's "rumors" and u2's "vertigo" = 2004's reasons i was born with ears.

3. i either watch national lampoon's christmas vacation (getting the hawaiian christmas song stuck in my head in the process) or i go for a nighttime drive around to see the crazy houses in the neighborhood that set up huge displays of lights. one guy has a huge chinese dragon, the sort you'd see in a parade, that he fixes up with glowing lights and leaves out on his front lawn through mid-january. once i see the wretched electrical excess some go to in order to say "we're more pious regarding christmas than you, ugly neighbor!" i know that 'tis the season!

4. no.

[dajaymann]

Aha! It seems that I am nearly first to happen upon this thread, and will now pour my soul into it:

1. The Wife brought me into Victoria's Secret the other day. This wasn't especially embarrassing, per se. It's just that... being around so many thongs makes me feel funny, and it's not the normal funny that one would think a heterosexual male like myself would feel. It's just... awkward. Wife didn't even see anything she liked, anyway.

2. Kyle mentioned the Nirvana box set, and I'm down for that. There's a new Transformer from the Alternators line (kindof a deluxe, borderline collectable version of the Transformers toys) called Tracks that turns into a 2004 Corvette. It's very smooth, and I may lay the bucks down before it dissappears.

3. Yesterday we bought the tree, and decorated it. That was it, that was the moment the holidays arrived.

4. Since spawning a little over a year ago, I am contractually bound to spead the spirit of the season. It is henceforth my duty to show my daughter as much holiday awesomeness as possible, and be in Holiday Cheer mode at all times.

[loulabelle]

OK, I'll give this a go:

1. It wasn't really an embarassing moment for me, but it's the only recent thing I can remember: I went to see a band last weekend, with some of my friends and one of them was a big fan (this band is becoming huge in Australia), and afterwards this friend and this other girl got totally sloshed and started following the guys around and talking to them/hugging them and stuff. It was embarassing to watch, and we couldn't leave because we were all supposed to leave together. The band guys weren't trying really hard to get away from them, but the lead singer looked P-Oed after awhile. At least we got to hung out with the band for a bit, and one of the guys kept eyeing me. Something to tell my grandkids I guess.

2. The Return of the King: Extended Edition box set. Hopefully my dad will get it.

3. That's easy-- Christmas dinner! Although Xmas dinner has been pretty dull over the past couple of years because my mum's working overseas, and she makes the best meals. There's also watching the TV specials.

4. It's hard to spread Christmas cheer in Australia when there's always a heat wave on Christmas Day. I'm going to bake stuff for my friends though.

[DocD83]

1 - Just some social faux pas...nothing comes to mind that has a good story and fails to make me look like a complete ass, so you don't get these stories. Muahahaah!

2 - The extended Return of the King.

3 - Used to be when my church put on its Christmas show, but I don't go there anymore. So now I'm down to a sucessful end of finals. If the end of finals is unsucessful, well then I'd just give the season a pass anyway. Try again in 2005.

4 - Not yet, I'm not. It looks like I will be thoroughly bah-humbugging this season.

[FiveMileSmile]

Old monkey stone reporting in.

1. Somehow despite a plethora of opportunities to make an arse of myself recently I've somehow managed to avoid embarassing myself in any really significant way. Also, I don't really get embarassed that easily either. However, when I was at high school I once asked a girl out who I liked who said yes, and I was so excited as I was walking away from her down the hall I jumped for joy and cracked by head against the top of a door frame, causing her to turn around in time to see me fall on my backside.

2. People keep on asking me that and the answer is all I want for Christmas is a cool surprise. I like it when people buy me stuff I'm not expecting, so I try not to think about what I would like, but just wait for the day to roll around so I can be super-excited about all the wierd and wonderful things people have got for me.

3. I winterise my desktop on my computer with some nice christmas image and install my snowflake screensaver. I also listen to loads of christmas carols because I love christmas music (especially Dean Martin's "Christmas Blues" - best christmas song ever) but only around the holiday time. I also watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (long standing family favourite christmas film) and Scrooged (which I really like). Christmas is a huge deal for my family so I have lots of little things that remind me its the holidays

4. I am a cheer-spreading machine, though most of my cheer will be spread before and after Christmas, as I will be spending the holidays themselves in Spain with my folks, where I will be attempting to spread cheer, though with my terrible Spanish, will more likely be Breading Spears. And I don't even know what that means.

[Al]

1) I went to see Finding Neverland recently with a girl I know from work. Definintely not a date (she has a boyfriend), we just didn't know anyone else who would want to see it and neither of us wanted to go alone. About halfway through the movie, I realize my arm had found it's way across the back of her seat and was inching it's way toward her shoulder. I was thankfully able to yank it back to my side of the armrest before she noticed and had her boyfriend pound me to jelly.

2) Honestly, there's not a whole lot to keep my visions of sugar plums company. I'm hoping for a few nice button-down shirts and some new jeans (Kyle got me thinking). Spidey 2 would brighten up my tree a little. And there's a great Kurasawa boxed set for 80 some-odd dollars, but that's more of a pipe dream. I'd also like to get my hands on the new Godfather novel.

3) The first time I find myself driving in the snow whistling a christmas tune or when most (if not all) of my family is sitting in the den watching tv with the ceiling lights off and the christmas tree lights on. Then I get all in the spirit.

4)This time of year gets me all goose-bumpy. I spread holiday cheer like it was going out of style.

Have a merry christmachanakwanzaakah!

Alan

EDIT: I just remembered something I *am*, in fact, dying for. I praying Santa will be listening and bring me some Red Sox World Series memorabelia. Go Boston!

[TheLuckyOne]

1. The most embarrassing moment for ME was admitting to my family that I got a fake tree this year. They've given me sooooo much crap about it, too. I'm sorry, I just moved into a new apartment and I don't need the hassle of trying to clean up 8 million pine needles without a vacuum!

The moment I've been most embarrassed for OTHER people was driving around looking at the lights in my new neighborhood. I'm sorry, but giant inflatable Eagles lawn ornaments do not put me in the Christmas mood. And my God, the neon... less is more, people!

2. The Yankees taking back the title next year. Since I can't buy that, though (but Steinbrenner can!), I'll go with the fifth season of The Simpsons. However, there's also the new Weird U.S. and Opus books, the new REM album, and several video games, most of which I'll have to get for myself if Santa doesn't come through. So cross your fingers!

3. The season hasn't officially begun until I hear Christmas Wrapping on the radio (best Christmas song EVER) and watch NL's Christmas Vacation. One down, one to go!

4. Like nobody's business. I love this season! Already hauled out my copy of A Christmas Carol so I can reread that, and I'm sure I'll be quoting Charlie Brown's Christmas any day now.

-D

[PoolMan]

Looks like I'll be the first reply in Colour!

1 - Rehearsing for my play, one of my cohorts delivers the line "I've got an urge to shoot him somewhere real painful". To which I loudly (and it wasn't even my turn to speak at this point) shouted "What, like the back of a Volkswagen?". TWO guys got it, and everyone else in the entire room just stared at me.

It was still funny, though.

2 - If I buy myself anything for the next three weeks, my wife will likely murder me for not sharing a gift idea with her. She says I'm hard to buy for. How hard is it to wander into your nearest movie/videogame/comic store and start indiscriminately throwing cash around?

3 - I'm part of a community concert band that's an alumni band of a community YOUTH band. These people have been playing together for up to thirty years in some cases (I've was a member of the youth band as far back as 1987). And let me tell you, when we break out the sheet music for Leroy Anderson's arrangement of "Sleigh Ride" for the first time each year, THAT'S when Christmas officially begins for me.

4 - I love spreading holiday cheer. I don't know how effective I am at it, but I still love doing it. So be happy, everyone! BE HAPPY! ARRRRRRRRGH!

[Head Mutant]

1. Well, Mr. Sampson and I (Mr. Sampson is the "code name" for my fiancee) were at a church Christmas party last week, and one of the louder church ladies was talking with us and suddenly booms out, "SO! How far along ARE you?"

Mr. Sampson and I look at each other, shocked. Loud lady starts, then corrects herself. "I mean, with the WEDDING."

I pat Mr. Sampson's belly and say, "We're calling him Howard."

2. 512 megs of RAM to upgrade my computer to a gig. Yehaw, I'm a geek.

3. Usually "Christmas" doesn't settle in until I'm at my parents' place, it's Christmas Eve, and the whole Christmas machine is going. Then it's music, our annual picnic-on-the-floor, Christmas Eve church service, egg nog, other types of nog, and Mom and Dad ruining the illusion of Santa Claus by asking me to help them bring up the presents.

4. Honestly, Christmas cheer comes and goes with me, depending on the day. It's one of the most busy and hectic times at work, considering there's about a hundred different church activities and services going on, and I can't wait until January and some peace and quiet. I leave spreading cheer up to other people.

[TheLuckyOne]

Head said:

1. Well, Mr. Sampson and I (Mr. Sampson is the "code name" for my fiancee)

You like how even after assigning a codename to her, Justin still manages to work in the f-word?


-D

[StarOpal]

One "new recruit" answering...

1. I can only pick one? I make it a habit of doing a minimum of one embarrassing thing a day, its a talent. In the grocery store the other day I was getting apples, not the ones all ready in the bag, and put them in one of the plastic ones from the store. You know how some people swing the bags over and then tie it? I did that and the bottom of the bag split open in mid-swing. Three of the four apples hit this complete stranger beside me and went rolling all over the floor. Well of course I'm going, "I'm sorry! Are you okay?!" Then he nicely helped me pick them up, which made me feel worse. I was so embarrassed.

2. Return of the King (extended) original I know.

3. Trying to make sugar cookies. The last four years I've tried making sugar cookies only to have them come out awful. They're my Christmas Moby Dick you could say. However, I've been convinced by the poor souls I subject them to, to give it a rest this year in favor of something that I actually do right. Mint double chocalate chip cookies. But next year I go back to sugar cookies.

4. Yes! I'm the gal people ask to come over and help decorate, bake things, etc.

As an aside I was humming "I Heard the Bells On Christmas Day" and it turned into "Put the Blame On Mame" weird.

[DocD83]

egg nog, other types of nog

There are other types of nog?

[Magill]

I'll go with Badger red!

1. The most embarrassing thing that's happened recently is that it's been revealed I have no friends. I went back down to Madison this weekend to visit my parents (and to drop off my dining tabletop--it's got a wine stain. It came with an extended warranty that would cover cleaning, but I had to drop it off at the store it came from). I contacted a couple friends from college to try and get together with, but one never got back to me and the other dropped out of our plans for a morning brunch without ever contacting me. Being stood up sucks!

2. I want to get a wok. I got an Asian cookbook and most of the recipes call for one. Plus, I forgot to tell my boyfriend to try to hint to my parents to get me one when we were visiting them.

3. For me it's the act of getting a tree . . . a real tree, no fake ones here! And decorating it while listening to Manheim Steamroller. However, I'm not doing that this year--from the weekend before Thanksgiving to the weekend of Christmas, I'll have been in town a grand total of one weekend--this upcoming one. So it's just not worth it.

4. I don't feel too cheery. Not that I'm depressed--it just hasn't sunk in that it's the holiday season. This year has just flown by.

[pfrsue]

1. Well, I can't say the most embarrassing thing, because it's entirely too embarrassing, however yesterday I was outside on the stepladder putting up Christmas lights, lost my balance and had one of those oh so dignified arm circling episodes (seen in the finest cartoons everywhere) in a frantic effort to keep myself from hitting Terra very firma. Yes, there were witnesses.

2. Actually no. There are things I want, but nothing that I'm desperate enough to blow the budget on.

3. There's always that first evening when the only lights on in the house are from the Christmas tree and I'm sitting on the couch fracturing carols on the guitar. I feel all mellowy nice and Christmasy then.

4. That's a really loaded question for me. When the urchins are at my place, I'm seasonally cheery and I don't mind throwing myself into spreading holiday joy. When they're at their Dad's house, things are... suffice to say, not so terrific and I tend to get all mopey and solitary.