Justin does Troll 2

[BlackCatWhiteCat]

You............no.........

Wait, you...............Justin.......a 5? A FIVE?

I....wait.....*sobs* you.....5? Even for sheer "it's so bad it's good" value.....no. It's not. A. 5. It's a Negative 1 Million and anything that's ever made me feel good in my life.

This movie spit on my soul, ground it into the pavement, and then sent all of the cats in the world to pee on it.

Just when I'd gotten over the hurt of this movie, reading your review opened up a new wound. Opened in up, sliced multiple paper cuts across it, poured salt over it and doused it with lemon juice.

I own this, only because of the Rifftrax. I tried once to watch this movie with Rifftrax. It ate my liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Even Rifftrax could never, ever make me want to watch this again EVER.

AND I CAN WATCH THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

WITHOUT RIFFTRAX!

Okay so you have always been the mutant reviewer with whom I feel my movie views are most similar. But......woah. You are more seriously messed up and more filmtastically masochistic than I could ever aspire to be.

Congrats.

*goes off to cry*

[astralprojections]

Newbie here, totally on Heather's side... And not just because she's my buddy.. it's because this woman FORCED ME TO WATCH THIS HEINOUS MOVIE WITH HER!

It'll be great, Heather! she said.. What could go wrong, Heather? she said.. It's Mike and Rifftrax! she said.. and then she forced me to watch it ;_; With like.. those strange eye-openers from Clockwork Orange ;_; I felt violated.. I still have nightmares.. I have seen some pretty horrible movies in my time, my husband is the king of loving craptastic movies.. for god's sake, we own Commando.. OWN it.. I honestly think Battlefield Earth is the funniest movie I've ever seen.. But this.. My god, how could you do this to us??

I know what it is.. You had to share the pain with the rest of the world, didn't you? It's like.. a horrible horrible version of 'the ring' and you have to share it to live?? ;_; please tell me it's true, because I don't know if I can live knowing that someone OTHER than lowtax likes this movie ><


*and kudos for making the awesome phrase 'filmtastically masochistic, i loves it!*

[BlackCatWhiteCat]

Another reason I want to murder, using chopsticks, anyone involved with this movie: The complete blatant RIPPING OFF of the Princess Bride in the first 5 minutes. I hate you. I hate you all.

EDIT: "You" meaning anyone involved in the film. I love you all, Mutants. Although really....remembering this movie has made me feel a creeping hate of life.

[bladestarr]

I'd say the movie gets 5 of everything Just for this scene alone. ;D

[BlackCatWhiteCat]

Okay you know what? I have to thank you for making me laugh. COMPLETELY out of context that was so hilarious that it made me laugh in the midst of my desire for the sweet release of death. EDIT: IN context it crushes my soul.

Only because I'm horridly bored and shocked into a near-comatose state by Justin's review....I.....well okay I feel all kinds of dirty and naughty and bad and wrong but I'm watching it okay, I'm watching it!!!!

I hate you all. Multiple times.

Oh and by "watching it" I mean letting it play while I surf the 'net, dry heaving and sobbing and drinking.

EDIT: I just feel the need to mention this and hopefully put things into context....I LOVE WATCHING BATTLEFIELD EARTH. AND Hobgoblins. This movies STILL managed to scar me.

I OWN SLEEPAWAY CAMP! Come on!!!!!!!

Okay you know what? I give up. Keep on loving this for all its campy glory. You guys are a scarier crew than I ever imagined.

And I love it.

At least you don't like Doom Generation. That's too messed up, even for me.

[BlackCatWhiteCat]

.......

[Head Mutant]

He pees on the food so his family won't eat it and turn into plants! How can that get anything LESS than a 5?

Besides, the Mutant Meter ratings aren't indicative of "good" or "bad", as we've said before. Just various aspects.