Post by wdm0744 on Dec 30, 2009 9:56:07 GMT -5
*Originally printed in a parenting magazine, thus the content section at the end*
I simply can’t believe that this bloated, silly, unoriginal, self-important hunk of cinematic refuse is the most expensive story ever told. That’s a reality I’m unwilling to embrace.
There is nothing new, nothing compelling (or even remotely interesting) on offer here. A 300 million dollar budget? Nothing in this film can warrant such shocking excess. Every warning, every caveat you’ve heard is true – Avatar’s plot is nothing but a clumsy and artless amalgamation of better films; and though its visual presentation is unique, it’s never stunning and rarely impressive. Save your money, save yourselves – Avatar is nothing but a diluted, self-righteous bit of space junk.
Up-and-coming leading man Sam Worthington stars as Jake Sully, a paralyzed Marine recruited at the last minute for the highly advanced Avatar program. Using human and alien DNA, corporate scientists have developed a way to infiltrate a community of ten-foot tall, blue-skinned humanoids, the indigenous people of the lush and dangerous world of Pandora. While researchers like Dr. Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) are interested in learning more about the people - called the Na’vi - and their amazing connection to the natural world around them, businessmen like Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) and his bristling mercenaries are bent on relocating or destroying the population in order to harvest the rare and precious mineral buried beneath their feet (a metal ridiculously called “unobtainum”).
The ruthless Col. Miles Quaritch (played with everything but a mustache to twirl by Stephen Lang) wants Jake to gain the natives’ trust and provide him intelligence for a final raid; but as Sully learns the ways of Na’vi, he falls in love with the native princess (Zoe Salanda), and finds his heart bonded more and more with the people and their struggle to save their home. Quaritch gradually grows suspicious, and with Selfridge pushing for action, he goes in for the kill, forcing Jake to unite the Na’vi in a desperate last stand against the earthling invaders.
If that story sounds familiar, then you might have seen Dancing with Wolves, Pocahontas, The New World, A Man Called Horse, Last of the Mohicans, or any number of other similar stories. Not only is writer/director James Cameron’s plot derivative, but his visual style is also heavily “influenced”, aping anything from his own classic Aliens to The Little Mermaid. No, really.
To top it off, James Horner’s musical score recycles bits from his work for The Four Feathers, and hammers away at the four note horn motif he’s been using as a crutch since 1988. Oh - and I swear I heard two sound effects lifted directly from Jurassic Park.
Never did I feel one ounce of excitement or a moment of immersion. I didn’t care about these warmed-over characters and I groaned repeatedly at the ham-fisted and politically-charged dialogue. At times I found myself laughing derisively at the silly, cartoonish visuals.
Do not believe the hype - as bright and as colorful as they may be, Avatar’s computer-generated images and motion-capture technology are anything but groundbreaking. The motions are still jerky and unrealistic; the animated faces still unable to capture something innate and indescribable in the human frame.
The picture’s special effects are only a marginal step beyond anything in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and despite being rendered in 3-D, even the portions that were actually filmed (as opposed to vast sections that look like something from a video game), never feel real or immersive. The effect is actually much more akin to flipping through a pop-up book or studying a mediocre wood carving in high relief. Anyone who tells you this is a visual masterpiece or the next frontier in cinema is either delusional or on the take.
Watching Avatar was perhaps the single most painful experience I’ve ever had in a movie theater. At one point during the intolerable two-and-a-half hour ordeal, I put my fingers to my neck and my wife was convinced I was checking to make sure I still had a pulse. Later, as the second act limped on to the final climatic battle, she whispered to me, “I’ve forgotten what my life was like before this movie started. I think I may go wait in the car”.
My very soul wanted to cry out in pain and despair as the credits rolled on Avatar; and then, just when I thought my heart couldn’t sink any lower, I heard a smattering of applause rise from the audience. I don’t think the sound of bullets striking a box full of puppies could have been any more sickening. Who would actually clap at the end of this travesty? Seriously – I want names.
It’s not just that this was a bad film. I’ve seen plenty of bad movies that haven’t made me question my essential faith in humanity. This one did. It’s so stupid it’s dangerous. Are we as a people really willing to accept the loss of compelling characters and an original story just so we can gain a few pretty pictures?
But even if we remove the question of quality from the equation, are we simply going to digest the misanthropic worldview this film thrusts upon us without protest? I mean, this thing is nothing if not the unholy love child of politically correct eco-terrorism and half-baked new age philosophy. Nature is god, man (particularly the American military) is greedy and consumed with blood lust. The only path to true enlightenment is to abandon technology and embrace the purity of nature.
I’m not the first to spot the bald-faced hypocrisy at work here, but the irony is apparently lost on the egomaniacal Cameron. Does he really believe that audiences will embrace such an anti-capitalist, anti-technology message from the most expensive, largely computer-generated film ever produced? Give me a break.
Cameron’s Na’vi are a (very) thinly veiled and offensive caricature of Native Americans; and their struggle against “the sky people” is a juvenile and unsophisticated take on the plight of American Indians at the hands of their European exploiters. In much the same way that Inglorious Basterds was a “Jewish revenge fantasy”, this is one for America’s indigenous population.
But just as I felt that Quentin Tarantino’s entertaining but garish production actually cheapened the trials of Judaism, so I feel Cameron’s ridiculous extravaganza has trivialized the pain Native Americans have suffered. And if this weren’t bad enough, Cameron mixes his metaphors, bringing in obvious and biased references to the attacks of September 11 and the US wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Parents – spare yourself and your children. But, if you insist on wasting your hard-earned cash, expect some mild to medium profanity throughout and a ton of computer-fueled violence in the final act. A number of mercenaries are eaten or trampled by fierce creatures, shot with automatic weapons, or pierced by the Na’vi’s massive arrows. There’s also a bit of sensuality in the middle when Jake (via is avatar) finally wins the heart of the native princess (who wears nothing but a loincloth and a low-hanging necklace in all of her scenes).
Perhaps the most disturbing scene is not one you’d expect, but it requires a bit of background. All the Na’vi have a special braid in their hair with a weird bundle of biological fiber optics on the end. A number of animals on the planet have a corresponding braid, allowing the Na’vi to link up with the beasts symbiotically. Once they are linked, the Na’vi know the animals’ thoughts, feel their muscles, and control their bodies.
If you’re getting a sex vibe from that, then you’re not alone. In one scene, Sully and a group of warriors must choose a pterodactyl-like creature from a wild herd to claim as their own. After Sully has battled the beast and brought it close to submission, his comrades urge him to complete the link and tame the animal. Once Sully finally does, he is one with the beast, and it instantly bends to his will. The whole sequence was brutal and uncomfortable. Talk about exploiting nature - I felt like I was watching the infamous “piggy scene” from Deliverance.
Heavy-handed philosophizing, sophomoric ramblings, overt extremist politics, interspecies rape – James Cameron’s masterpiece has it all. This has been a disappointing year for movies, and Avatar is by far the biggest disappointment of them all.
I simply can’t believe that this bloated, silly, unoriginal, self-important hunk of cinematic refuse is the most expensive story ever told. That’s a reality I’m unwilling to embrace.
There is nothing new, nothing compelling (or even remotely interesting) on offer here. A 300 million dollar budget? Nothing in this film can warrant such shocking excess. Every warning, every caveat you’ve heard is true – Avatar’s plot is nothing but a clumsy and artless amalgamation of better films; and though its visual presentation is unique, it’s never stunning and rarely impressive. Save your money, save yourselves – Avatar is nothing but a diluted, self-righteous bit of space junk.
Up-and-coming leading man Sam Worthington stars as Jake Sully, a paralyzed Marine recruited at the last minute for the highly advanced Avatar program. Using human and alien DNA, corporate scientists have developed a way to infiltrate a community of ten-foot tall, blue-skinned humanoids, the indigenous people of the lush and dangerous world of Pandora. While researchers like Dr. Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) are interested in learning more about the people - called the Na’vi - and their amazing connection to the natural world around them, businessmen like Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) and his bristling mercenaries are bent on relocating or destroying the population in order to harvest the rare and precious mineral buried beneath their feet (a metal ridiculously called “unobtainum”).
The ruthless Col. Miles Quaritch (played with everything but a mustache to twirl by Stephen Lang) wants Jake to gain the natives’ trust and provide him intelligence for a final raid; but as Sully learns the ways of Na’vi, he falls in love with the native princess (Zoe Salanda), and finds his heart bonded more and more with the people and their struggle to save their home. Quaritch gradually grows suspicious, and with Selfridge pushing for action, he goes in for the kill, forcing Jake to unite the Na’vi in a desperate last stand against the earthling invaders.
If that story sounds familiar, then you might have seen Dancing with Wolves, Pocahontas, The New World, A Man Called Horse, Last of the Mohicans, or any number of other similar stories. Not only is writer/director James Cameron’s plot derivative, but his visual style is also heavily “influenced”, aping anything from his own classic Aliens to The Little Mermaid. No, really.
To top it off, James Horner’s musical score recycles bits from his work for The Four Feathers, and hammers away at the four note horn motif he’s been using as a crutch since 1988. Oh - and I swear I heard two sound effects lifted directly from Jurassic Park.
Never did I feel one ounce of excitement or a moment of immersion. I didn’t care about these warmed-over characters and I groaned repeatedly at the ham-fisted and politically-charged dialogue. At times I found myself laughing derisively at the silly, cartoonish visuals.
Do not believe the hype - as bright and as colorful as they may be, Avatar’s computer-generated images and motion-capture technology are anything but groundbreaking. The motions are still jerky and unrealistic; the animated faces still unable to capture something innate and indescribable in the human frame.
The picture’s special effects are only a marginal step beyond anything in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and despite being rendered in 3-D, even the portions that were actually filmed (as opposed to vast sections that look like something from a video game), never feel real or immersive. The effect is actually much more akin to flipping through a pop-up book or studying a mediocre wood carving in high relief. Anyone who tells you this is a visual masterpiece or the next frontier in cinema is either delusional or on the take.
Watching Avatar was perhaps the single most painful experience I’ve ever had in a movie theater. At one point during the intolerable two-and-a-half hour ordeal, I put my fingers to my neck and my wife was convinced I was checking to make sure I still had a pulse. Later, as the second act limped on to the final climatic battle, she whispered to me, “I’ve forgotten what my life was like before this movie started. I think I may go wait in the car”.
My very soul wanted to cry out in pain and despair as the credits rolled on Avatar; and then, just when I thought my heart couldn’t sink any lower, I heard a smattering of applause rise from the audience. I don’t think the sound of bullets striking a box full of puppies could have been any more sickening. Who would actually clap at the end of this travesty? Seriously – I want names.
It’s not just that this was a bad film. I’ve seen plenty of bad movies that haven’t made me question my essential faith in humanity. This one did. It’s so stupid it’s dangerous. Are we as a people really willing to accept the loss of compelling characters and an original story just so we can gain a few pretty pictures?
But even if we remove the question of quality from the equation, are we simply going to digest the misanthropic worldview this film thrusts upon us without protest? I mean, this thing is nothing if not the unholy love child of politically correct eco-terrorism and half-baked new age philosophy. Nature is god, man (particularly the American military) is greedy and consumed with blood lust. The only path to true enlightenment is to abandon technology and embrace the purity of nature.
I’m not the first to spot the bald-faced hypocrisy at work here, but the irony is apparently lost on the egomaniacal Cameron. Does he really believe that audiences will embrace such an anti-capitalist, anti-technology message from the most expensive, largely computer-generated film ever produced? Give me a break.
Cameron’s Na’vi are a (very) thinly veiled and offensive caricature of Native Americans; and their struggle against “the sky people” is a juvenile and unsophisticated take on the plight of American Indians at the hands of their European exploiters. In much the same way that Inglorious Basterds was a “Jewish revenge fantasy”, this is one for America’s indigenous population.
But just as I felt that Quentin Tarantino’s entertaining but garish production actually cheapened the trials of Judaism, so I feel Cameron’s ridiculous extravaganza has trivialized the pain Native Americans have suffered. And if this weren’t bad enough, Cameron mixes his metaphors, bringing in obvious and biased references to the attacks of September 11 and the US wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Parents – spare yourself and your children. But, if you insist on wasting your hard-earned cash, expect some mild to medium profanity throughout and a ton of computer-fueled violence in the final act. A number of mercenaries are eaten or trampled by fierce creatures, shot with automatic weapons, or pierced by the Na’vi’s massive arrows. There’s also a bit of sensuality in the middle when Jake (via is avatar) finally wins the heart of the native princess (who wears nothing but a loincloth and a low-hanging necklace in all of her scenes).
Perhaps the most disturbing scene is not one you’d expect, but it requires a bit of background. All the Na’vi have a special braid in their hair with a weird bundle of biological fiber optics on the end. A number of animals on the planet have a corresponding braid, allowing the Na’vi to link up with the beasts symbiotically. Once they are linked, the Na’vi know the animals’ thoughts, feel their muscles, and control their bodies.
If you’re getting a sex vibe from that, then you’re not alone. In one scene, Sully and a group of warriors must choose a pterodactyl-like creature from a wild herd to claim as their own. After Sully has battled the beast and brought it close to submission, his comrades urge him to complete the link and tame the animal. Once Sully finally does, he is one with the beast, and it instantly bends to his will. The whole sequence was brutal and uncomfortable. Talk about exploiting nature - I felt like I was watching the infamous “piggy scene” from Deliverance.
Heavy-handed philosophizing, sophomoric ramblings, overt extremist politics, interspecies rape – James Cameron’s masterpiece has it all. This has been a disappointing year for movies, and Avatar is by far the biggest disappointment of them all.
