Post by Hucklebubba on May 9, 2006 1:45:12 GMT -5
Just decided to post another of my random Lore Sjoberg-y ratings. Except that I guess he isn't actually doing ratings anymore, so no more worries about general concept plagiarism! Whee!
Today's topic: Transformers characters with really dumb names.
Kup
As in pickup. Because he turns into a truck. Clever.
The good news: Kup is/was actually a pretty good character. He served as the cranky old man of the Autobot ranks, was deadly in a scrap, and did a good job of looking out for his younger, more idiotic compatriots. Not only that, but he never once drove 15 mph below the speed limit in the oncoming traffic lane, or complained about sales tax.
The bad news: His name is so stupid it makes my ears bleed.
Lugnutz
In case I haven't said it before, I'll say it now, and if I have said it before, I'll reiterate: Faux-cool misspellings fall just slightly above "serial rapists" on my Dislike List. Not only that, but this name just sounds dirty.
Lugnutz is a figure I actually own, because he turns into a motorcycle, and motorcycle transformers are just fundamentally cool.
Considering his vehicle form, his name is not wholly inappropriate, and yet, it is. Personally, I would've gone with "Rumble," as Lugnutz seems to have inherited the personality, basic function, and, now that I look at it, exact same head as the aforementioned scrappy Casseticon; making him altogether different from the dopey yet incredibly well-hung character that "Lugnutz" would seem to evoke.
Anti-Blaze
Okay, my dislike of the first two names is obviously just my opinion, but I'm pretty sure there isn't a single person on the planet who would go against me on this one.
We're lead to believe that Anti-Blaze is supposed to be some sort of firefighting contraption--actually, his vehicle form appears to be a Bradley fighting vehicle with wheels instead of treads, a fire hose-like object on the top, and SWAT written on the side. So, I'm not really sure what he does. Possibly everything. I'm getting a mental image of a contingent of Marines being deployed to a burning crackhouse.
But, as previously indicated, the name gives firefighting the most votes. Which brings us to the core issue: Somebody refusing to use the host of good firefighting-compatible names afforded by the English language, many of which have been successfully used by Hasbro in the past: Barbecue, Blowtorch, Inferno; the list goes on and on.
Sure, those are all pro-fire names, but conflagration and scary burny death are what the consumer wants.
Treadshot
Not a teeth-hurtingly bad name in and of itself, but there is a problem, and it's two-fold:
1. "Treadshot" doesn't mean anything. At all.
2. The Treadshot character is a jet, and it sounds like if his name did actually refer to something, one would think it would be tank-related. And not just any tanks, but tanks either playing basketball or engaging in pornography. Or some combination of the two.
As it turns out, the problem is three-fold. Bizarre mental images being the third fold.
Dust Storm
This actually isn't a bad name at all. Back in the olden days of transformerdom, there was a triple-changer by the name of Sandstorm who could turn into a helicopter or a dune buggy. Now that's some good name-doin'. Just like grandma used to make.
As such, Dust Storm would be a great name for a 'bot that turns into a helicopter. Or a leaf blower. Or the Oklahoma panhandle. Unfortunately, this guy turns into a crane truck. Suggested replacement name: Thinglifter.
Today's topic: Transformers characters with really dumb names.
Kup
As in pickup. Because he turns into a truck. Clever.
The good news: Kup is/was actually a pretty good character. He served as the cranky old man of the Autobot ranks, was deadly in a scrap, and did a good job of looking out for his younger, more idiotic compatriots. Not only that, but he never once drove 15 mph below the speed limit in the oncoming traffic lane, or complained about sales tax.
The bad news: His name is so stupid it makes my ears bleed.
Lugnutz
In case I haven't said it before, I'll say it now, and if I have said it before, I'll reiterate: Faux-cool misspellings fall just slightly above "serial rapists" on my Dislike List. Not only that, but this name just sounds dirty.
Lugnutz is a figure I actually own, because he turns into a motorcycle, and motorcycle transformers are just fundamentally cool.
Considering his vehicle form, his name is not wholly inappropriate, and yet, it is. Personally, I would've gone with "Rumble," as Lugnutz seems to have inherited the personality, basic function, and, now that I look at it, exact same head as the aforementioned scrappy Casseticon; making him altogether different from the dopey yet incredibly well-hung character that "Lugnutz" would seem to evoke.
Anti-Blaze
Okay, my dislike of the first two names is obviously just my opinion, but I'm pretty sure there isn't a single person on the planet who would go against me on this one.
We're lead to believe that Anti-Blaze is supposed to be some sort of firefighting contraption--actually, his vehicle form appears to be a Bradley fighting vehicle with wheels instead of treads, a fire hose-like object on the top, and SWAT written on the side. So, I'm not really sure what he does. Possibly everything. I'm getting a mental image of a contingent of Marines being deployed to a burning crackhouse.
But, as previously indicated, the name gives firefighting the most votes. Which brings us to the core issue: Somebody refusing to use the host of good firefighting-compatible names afforded by the English language, many of which have been successfully used by Hasbro in the past: Barbecue, Blowtorch, Inferno; the list goes on and on.
Sure, those are all pro-fire names, but conflagration and scary burny death are what the consumer wants.
Treadshot
Not a teeth-hurtingly bad name in and of itself, but there is a problem, and it's two-fold:
1. "Treadshot" doesn't mean anything. At all.
2. The Treadshot character is a jet, and it sounds like if his name did actually refer to something, one would think it would be tank-related. And not just any tanks, but tanks either playing basketball or engaging in pornography. Or some combination of the two.
As it turns out, the problem is three-fold. Bizarre mental images being the third fold.
Dust Storm
This actually isn't a bad name at all. Back in the olden days of transformerdom, there was a triple-changer by the name of Sandstorm who could turn into a helicopter or a dune buggy. Now that's some good name-doin'. Just like grandma used to make.
As such, Dust Storm would be a great name for a 'bot that turns into a helicopter. Or a leaf blower. Or the Oklahoma panhandle. Unfortunately, this guy turns into a crane truck. Suggested replacement name: Thinglifter.
