Post by Hucklebubba on Jul 24, 2006 2:23:37 GMT -5
(This may have been more at home in the Video Games thread, but here it is anyway.)
Nazis
These guys remain a favorite in the arena of disposable naughty grunts, despite the fact that they carry a lot of baggage.
For one thing, they're a tad on the unimpressive side versus most of the other entrants on this list. They aren't nigh-unkillable, they can't run on the ceiling or spit acid, and getting bitten by a Nazi will not turn you into a Nazi. Rather, it will turn you into a regular person with a Nazi teeth-shaped bite mark somewhere. And then you shoot them. Not all that scary.
Secondly, you can't have a Nazi-killing jamboree without having some bleeding-heart crawl out of the wordwork (Which, if it were a literal bleeding heart that crawled, would make excellent cannon fodder itself) and say something like, "But historically, many of Hitler's soldiers became thus by way of forced conscription and didn't want to be there and actually really liked Jews and stuff."
To which I say, "Bah! Humbug!" Which means, "Yeah, okay, that may be true, but I need for my Nazis to be thoroughly and irredeemably evil, and like it. The only shade of gray I want to see is Gunmetal."
Zombies
They're slow. They're stupid. They can't climb stairs, open doors, use weapons, or eat with silverware.
So how are they even a threat? Numbers, proselytic tendencies, the ability to digest a lot of lead, and one helluva work ethic.
There's also an emotional element at work, in that zombies--aside from the initial one or two foolhardy lab workers--may have once been honest, hard-working folk--with, admittedly, a few jerks mixed in--who, through no fault of their own aside from not fleeing from an obviously sick person who wants to bite them, have become shuffling brain-eaters.
The angstful coup de grace comes in the form of the looming possiblity that survivors of a zombie outbreak may at some point be forced to whack friends and/or loved ones. The upside to that coin is that there's just as much probability that the zombies in question will be disgusting white trash neighbors. I may have incorporated elements from my own life just now.
The main weakness of the zombie, aside from all of the other weaknesses, is that even if the zombies win, they lose. Zombie society is doomed to fail, as the inevitable result of Zombiocracy is a bunch of unemployed zombies standing around with no one left to eat. Because zombies can't eat other zombies. That's just dirty.
Generic Ski-Masked Terrorists
I'll take these guys over the Nazis any day.
They're the perfect semi-fragile humanoid cannon fodder. They're terrorists, which makes them dislikable, but unlike Nazis, they lack any sort of historical snags. Plus, their quasi-Caucasian non-ethnicity makes for a complete lack of political hassle, as I'm fairly certain there isn't a Skimaskian Anti-Defamation League. And even if there is, who cares? These guys can't shoot worth a crap.
I'm not exactly sure how the ski mask became so iconic, but I suppose it has something to do with the dehumanizing effect of masks in general. Or because people think most skiers they've dealt with need to die. Take your pick.
Aliens
There isn't much to say here. They come from somewhere else, making hatred and hostility the natural reaction, and they splat when you shoot 'em. What more do you need?
Aliens are unique in the cannon fodder ranks in that your grisly demise may not always be their immediate goal. They may, on the odd occasion, wish to pork with you first.
I'm going to say that, in 9 cases out of 10, I would rather have my brain eaten. Unless, if the alien in question is like, maybe discernibly female, and at least sort of semi-hot in a strange way. . .
Gah! I don't want to talk about it anymore! Robots!
Robots
Kind of like zombies, except faster, smarter, harder to kill, and able to use bigger guns than you.
On the bright side, they are highly vulnerable to cliches, i.e. you can at least impede them, if not stop them altogether, by asking unanswerable mathematical questions or getting them to muse about the presence or absence of a soul on their part.
Physical weaknesses are often also in evidence, but they can throw you for a loop. Like, say you put a rail bolt through the skull casing of a menacing robot, and you're feeling all good about yourself, except that it turns out the robot's demented creator designed it so that its positronic brain would be located in the pee-pee area, which you have avoided shooting for the sake of good form. That'll learn ya, Mr. Warrior's Honor who now has the squished head!
Also, according to the GURPS rulebook, robots are incapable of accurately targeting naked women. So that's worth remembering. Like, you might want to keep one around for shield purposes.
Nazis
These guys remain a favorite in the arena of disposable naughty grunts, despite the fact that they carry a lot of baggage.
For one thing, they're a tad on the unimpressive side versus most of the other entrants on this list. They aren't nigh-unkillable, they can't run on the ceiling or spit acid, and getting bitten by a Nazi will not turn you into a Nazi. Rather, it will turn you into a regular person with a Nazi teeth-shaped bite mark somewhere. And then you shoot them. Not all that scary.
Secondly, you can't have a Nazi-killing jamboree without having some bleeding-heart crawl out of the wordwork (Which, if it were a literal bleeding heart that crawled, would make excellent cannon fodder itself) and say something like, "But historically, many of Hitler's soldiers became thus by way of forced conscription and didn't want to be there and actually really liked Jews and stuff."
To which I say, "Bah! Humbug!" Which means, "Yeah, okay, that may be true, but I need for my Nazis to be thoroughly and irredeemably evil, and like it. The only shade of gray I want to see is Gunmetal."
Zombies
They're slow. They're stupid. They can't climb stairs, open doors, use weapons, or eat with silverware.
So how are they even a threat? Numbers, proselytic tendencies, the ability to digest a lot of lead, and one helluva work ethic.
There's also an emotional element at work, in that zombies--aside from the initial one or two foolhardy lab workers--may have once been honest, hard-working folk--with, admittedly, a few jerks mixed in--who, through no fault of their own aside from not fleeing from an obviously sick person who wants to bite them, have become shuffling brain-eaters.
The angstful coup de grace comes in the form of the looming possiblity that survivors of a zombie outbreak may at some point be forced to whack friends and/or loved ones. The upside to that coin is that there's just as much probability that the zombies in question will be disgusting white trash neighbors. I may have incorporated elements from my own life just now.
The main weakness of the zombie, aside from all of the other weaknesses, is that even if the zombies win, they lose. Zombie society is doomed to fail, as the inevitable result of Zombiocracy is a bunch of unemployed zombies standing around with no one left to eat. Because zombies can't eat other zombies. That's just dirty.
Generic Ski-Masked Terrorists
I'll take these guys over the Nazis any day.
They're the perfect semi-fragile humanoid cannon fodder. They're terrorists, which makes them dislikable, but unlike Nazis, they lack any sort of historical snags. Plus, their quasi-Caucasian non-ethnicity makes for a complete lack of political hassle, as I'm fairly certain there isn't a Skimaskian Anti-Defamation League. And even if there is, who cares? These guys can't shoot worth a crap.
I'm not exactly sure how the ski mask became so iconic, but I suppose it has something to do with the dehumanizing effect of masks in general. Or because people think most skiers they've dealt with need to die. Take your pick.
Aliens
There isn't much to say here. They come from somewhere else, making hatred and hostility the natural reaction, and they splat when you shoot 'em. What more do you need?
Aliens are unique in the cannon fodder ranks in that your grisly demise may not always be their immediate goal. They may, on the odd occasion, wish to pork with you first.
I'm going to say that, in 9 cases out of 10, I would rather have my brain eaten. Unless, if the alien in question is like, maybe discernibly female, and at least sort of semi-hot in a strange way. . .
Gah! I don't want to talk about it anymore! Robots!
Robots
Kind of like zombies, except faster, smarter, harder to kill, and able to use bigger guns than you.
On the bright side, they are highly vulnerable to cliches, i.e. you can at least impede them, if not stop them altogether, by asking unanswerable mathematical questions or getting them to muse about the presence or absence of a soul on their part.
Physical weaknesses are often also in evidence, but they can throw you for a loop. Like, say you put a rail bolt through the skull casing of a menacing robot, and you're feeling all good about yourself, except that it turns out the robot's demented creator designed it so that its positronic brain would be located in the pee-pee area, which you have avoided shooting for the sake of good form. That'll learn ya, Mr. Warrior's Honor who now has the squished head!
Also, according to the GURPS rulebook, robots are incapable of accurately targeting naked women. So that's worth remembering. Like, you might want to keep one around for shield purposes.
