The Babelfish Game

[Spiderdancer]

Here's something you can do with Babelfish if, like me, you have a very boring job. You don't HAVE to know another language, but it's funnier if you do.

Go to Babelfish: babelfish.altavista.com/

And type something in English. Song lyrics, poetry, the text of the United States constitution, whatever. Now translate it into another language.

Now translate it BACK to English. The results are often hilarious. For example, Babelfish always translates INTO Spanish in the Usted form, but translates this BACK as third person.

I type an angry feministic statement:

-I hate it when you call me "girl." Next time you do it, I will seriously injure you with this hammer in my hand.-

And Babelfish renders it thusly when washed through Spanish:

-Hatred when you call "girl to me." The next time that you do it, I will damage to him seriously with this hammer in my hand.-


Post your contributions to international misunderstanding here.

[Hucklebubba]

Let's see how the Pet Shop Boys fare south of the border:

"Too many shadows, whispering voices, faces on posters, too many choices."

Espanol flip-flop:

"Also many whispering, expensive shades, voices in the posters, also many options."

It's good to have options. And expensive shades!

How about auf Deutsch?

"Too many shade, voices, faces whispering on posters, too many elections."

And now we have faces whispering on posters. Leave it to the Germans to make things all creepy.

[StarOpal]

Mambo Italiano with movie quotes:


Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Noboby puts the child in an angle.
---
I feel the need... the need for speed!

To perceive the requirement... the speed requirement!
---
I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?

I do not mean to raise, but dadella probability seemed not to have six barrette on your right hand?
---
Look, darlin', it's Johnny Ringo. Deadliest pistolier since Wild Bill, they say. What do you think, darlin', should I hate him?

It observes, darlin ', is Johnny Ringo. More pistolier the most died them from the wild invoice, they say. Which thing thoughts, darlin ', you would have I to hate them?
---
You wanna know how you do it? Here's how, they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send on of his to the morgue! That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?

Wished to know the fairies? Here you are like, pull a blade, pulled one gun. It transmits one of yours to the hospital, you transmits over of its to the morgue! That one is the sense of the Chicago and that one is like obtains Capone! Hour wished to make that one? You are to wait for in order to make that one?
---
The vampire lady is covering us!

The mrs. of vampire is covering we!
---
See! I told you! Viscous liquids!

It sees! I have said to you! Viscous liquids!

[TheOogieBoogieMan]

Here we go. A chunk of Shakespeare's "To be..." soliloquy:

"To be or not to be, that is the question —
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep —
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to — 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep —
To sleep, perchance to dream."

And now, the Germa-fied version:

"Its or Nichtsein, is those the question - whether one ' tis, which suffers the belts and the arrows of the impudent fortune in the understanding or arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing are more splendid, terminate it takes. It dies, any longer does not sleep -; and by a sleep, to we terminate to say the grief and the thousand natural impacts that meat is inheritance - ' tis consummation a Devoutly to be to wished. Die, sleep - sleep, perhaps dream."

Hmmm...still sounds Shakespearean.

[Big T]

A few movie quotes given the french treatment. Very Canadian Non?

I love the smell of napalm in the morning, smells like victory.

I like the odor of napalm the morning, odors like the victory.
__________________________________________________

I once heard a wise man say: There are no perfect men in this world, only perfect intentions.

I has in the past heard that a wise man say: There is no perfect man in this world, only perfect intentions.

Some of these were not quite as fun as the Spanish translations but I only speak 2 languages. Ah, well...

[Spiderdancer]

Oh... My... Stars...

Why, yes, I DID wish to know the fairies.

I also love "Observes, darlin', Johnny Ringo" and "Nobody puts the child in an angle."

And here's what happens to Dirty Harry's famous challenge when washed through Spanish:

"I so conjecture the question that you were able to ask that she is, you feels like lucky person? Well, you, punky?"

I don't know about you, but I definitely feels like lucky person.

[StarOpal]

Well I feel punky...

[Ms. Jellybean]

In honor of the Decemberists' new album dropping last week, I have decided to put some of Colin Meloy's lovely lyrics through the wringer, using Spanish as my middleman.

From "O Valencia!"

English: Well the shot, it hit hard, and your frame went limp in my arms. And the lull of love was your dying cry.

Spanish-to-English: The shot flows, it struck hardly and its frame went soft in my arms and the calm of the love was its shout that died

From "Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then)"

English: Heart-carved tree trunk, Yankee bayonet, a sweetheart left behind. Far from the hills of the sea-swelled Carolinas, that's where my true love lies.

Spanish-to-English: the Heart-carved trunk of the tree, bayonet of Yankee system, a love went away behind. Far from hills of the Carolinas sea-inflation, it is here where my true love lies.

From "Summersong"

English: My girl, linen and curls, lips parting like a flag all unfurled. She's grand, the bend of her hand digging deep into the sweep of the sand.

Spanish-to-English: My girl, linen and windings, lips that divide like an unfolded flag everything. It is magnificent, the curve of her hand digging deeply in the sweeping of the sand.

Lesson here? It's not as amusing with the Decemberists. But still fun. Haha. (I thought the lyricism was a surefire way to screw stuff up, but I guess I was wrong.)

[StarOpal]

More fun with movie quotes and the Italian language!


The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... Until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white.

The thing approximately a squalo, has the eyes lifeless, black eyes, like the eyes of the doll. When it comes you it does not seem to be livin '... Until that it does not bite you and those black eyes coils over the white man.
---
Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city to take back the child which you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom as great. You have no power over me.

With untold and the difficulty of dangers unnumbered, I have fought my sense to the castle beyond the city of the goblin to take here behind the child that you have stolen. For my will it is strongly how much yours and my reign like large. You do not have feeding to me over.
---
There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent-ass-clown BECAME famous and started winning Grammy's.

THERE WAS badly nothing with it. Until that it does not have approximately 12 years and that no-talent-ass-not-talent-ass-clown IT HAS BEEN famous and begun to gain Grammy.
---
She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

It is sure, hardly as I have promised. Entire it is regulated in order to marry Norrington, hardly like has promised. And you obtain to die for she, hardly as you it has promised. Therefore we are all the men of our word really... except Elizabeth, that it is in fact, one woman.
---
Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?

Disowned, it is not? Life of every man touches many other screw. When it does not have place around to He leaves a hole terrible, not?
---

Settle down there, Clarence!

[Spiderdancer]

staropal said:

Disowned, it is not? Life of every man touches many other screw. When it does not have place around to He leaves a hole terrible, not?

Every other screw? LOL

This is right up there when I had Babelfish translate "Mama" in Spanish as "breast" in English, as in "Tonight I have the class of the ESL with my breast."

[TheOogieBoogieMan]

Some Portuguese song lyrics:

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad I got sunshine, in a bag I'm useless,but not for long the future is coming on.
= I is not happy, I is feeling that contented I started the light of the sun, in a bag I I am useless, but does not stop long the future is being come close.

Stop right now, thank you very much, I need somebody with the human touch, Hey you always on the run, Gotta slow if down baby, gotta have some fun.
= It stops now for the right, debtor very very, me need somebody with the human touch, hey you always in the functioning, started to be late if for low baby, started to have some amusement.

You show us everything you've got, You keep on dancin and the room gets hot, You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy.
= You it shows that everything that you have got, you if keeps in dancin and the room starts hot, you to us in dirige wild, us will direct insane person.

[Spiderdancer]

Us will direct insane person.

LOL

[TheOogieBoogieMan]

Some more classic literature to fall victim to the Babelfish game...a passage from Poe's "the German Raven":

BEFORE
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore - For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore - Nameless here for evermore.

AFTER
Ampere-hour, clearly reminds me I that it was in bald December, and in everyone the different dying wrought glow its spirit after the floor. Inspired I wished morrow; - vainly I had looked for, of my books surcease provide - provide for the lost Lenore - for the rare and bright Maid to borrow, those the angels Lenore called -, which is here always nameless.

Bald December sounds like an emo band to me.

[Cant Neverwhile]

Hehehe...quotes from MY to-be-worked on movie script.

"And then you hit him again, and you hit her again, and then she hit you again, and you all hit each other until you were dead."
after the ol' english-italian-english
"And then you have hit it still and you have still hit it and then it has hit them still and all you have hit yourselves until that you were not out of order"

"Plane R is an Amazing sight. Just then, I said amazing with a capital "A". Plane R told me to do that."

"The R airplane is one seen narcotic. As soon as then, I astonishment dictate with understanding them "To". The R airplane has said to make that one to me."

"Jeepers, Batman. The Joker raped C.J. and stole my lunch money!" (It'll make sense)

"Jeepers, Batman. Joker colza the C.J. and has stolen my moneies of the lunch!"

And last, but not least, I translated the opening phrase from "Breakfast Club" from English, to Italian, to French, Back to English, to Dutch, back to French, and then, finally, to English.

"And these children that you spit on as they try to change their world are immune to your consultations. There well aware what they're going through."

"And these children who spit while they test to change their world to be free with your dialogue. It informed well what they pass with."

[Spiderdancer]

Movie lines from Near Dark, which I just finished watching today:

My name's Homer, H O M E R. Mispronounce it and I wouldn't want to be you.

=Homer of my name, H Or M and R. Mispronounce he and I would not wish to be you.

You're going to look real ugly with your face ripped off.

=You are going to watch ugly true with your torn face extinguished.

Look at the night. It's so bright it'll blind you!

=Watch the night. It is so shining it will blind to him!

He's been bit, but he ain't been bled. He's probably turned already.

=They are it small piece, but they do not bleed. They give return probably already it.


Babelfish don't do too good with regional American dialects. Or, as Babelfish itself would say, "Babelfish does not make too good with regional American dialectos."