A Special Petition

[PoolMan]

UPDATE!

(aw, just pretend you still care)

Madler and I hunkered down over my wounded computer and found out it's about as bad as it could be. The CPU is toast. Fried. It's bacon.

And what's best, the motherboard is too old to buy new processors for. So I can either spend the next month of my life hoping to buy an outdated processor privately, or I can replace my entire motherboard, CPU, and RAM (cause I have to go to a new bus speed) in one go.

Luckily, it won't be THAT expensive, but it's certainly a ding in the old armour. D'oh. Oh well. Should be up and running after the weekend.

And THEN it's comic time.

[Der Germ]

Yay comic! Boo outdated computer softwear that fried up and smelled like bacon!

[Head Mutant]

Hey, at least you didn't accidentally drop a yogurt smoothie into a monitor and fry it completely. Like someone I know did. Me. Yesterday. At work. Yay for Italian gracefulness!

[Hucklebubba]

Say there, Pooly. Before all of these bad things started happening to your PC, did it seem to be humming abnormally loud? And were there odd smears of discoloration on the monitor display? Please tell me no.

[PoolMan]

Head said:

Hey, at least you didn't accidentally drop a yogurt smoothie into a monitor and fry it completely. Like someone I know did. Me.

Aw man, that sucks. The Curse of the Chubby Fingers? If it makes you feel better, we have a guy in my office who has spilled coffee into (INTO) his laptop no less than three times. It's a very regular occurrence to walk by Graham's desk and see a laptop (still inexplicably plugged in, and I do work in the electrical industry) standing on it's side on a bed of paper towels. Utterly hilarious. So what happened to you?

Hucklebubba said:

...did it seem to be humming abnormally loud? And were there odd smears of discoloration on the monitor display? Please tell me no.

I can honestly say no, Bubba, but what you're describing sounds disturbingly bad as well. Where's the humming coming from?

[Hucklebubba]

You know the whisper-like humming that all healthy computers make when they're on? Well, over time, my computer has gone from contented cooing, to something like a sustained low squawk.

Of course, it's important to note that my PC is nigh on four years old now. That's like, 3,000 in people years.

[Head Mutant]

I had to move the monitor to try that DCC with both computers, and I put the smoothie cup in my mouth, but I bit too hard and it popped out and sprayed everywhere. Yay.

[PoolMan]

Justin: Ouch, that's not good. Oh well, at least you're not electrocuted. Just embarassed.

Bubba: IF, and I do mean IF, the sound seems to be coming from the CPU fan, it's an easy fix. I had a similar problem with an older fan, it went from quiet to drowning out movies I was trying to watch. Here's what I did:

Turn computer off, make sure it's been cool for a while.
Remove the fan from the heatsink.
Look for a sticker over the point of rotation on the fan.
Peel back (but DON'T REMOVE) this sticker.
You should see a hole or screw or something (if not, you've got the wrong side).
Put a small amount of WD40 or similar oil into the hole.
Turn the fan with your fingers a few times.
Repeat last two steps if necessary.
Replace sticker.
Remount CPU fan to heatsink.

If this is the source of your noise issue, the difference will be night and day.

What worries me though is your description of screen discolouration, etc. That sounds far more serious. Got any computer-savvy friends near you?

_{Note the Mutant Reviewers From Hell do not advocate or endorse the above action, user is responsible for their own safety and hardware. If you destroy your computer listening to PoolMan, all he will do is point and laugh, and he will never send you money, because he's too busy spending money trying to fix his OWN mistakes.}

[Hucklebubba]

Yo yo, check it. (?) Here's my description of the discolo(u)ration:

Let's just say, all hypothetical-like, that I were to switch my desktop background to plain white, and could somehow eliminate all of the icons, and put a solitary black dot in the middle of the screen.

Said dot would appear to have a grayish stripe projecting out horizontally from either side of it, which runs the width of the screen. This rule applies to all situations where contrasting colors are right next to each other.

I've tried plugging in a different monitor, and the problem remains. So, it's either not a monitor problem, or I managed to somehow pick another bad monitor as my guinea pig.

I've also tried degaussing, which, despite also not helping, gets tried repeatedly, because it makes me feel like I'm entering a Wayne's World dream sequence.

It bears mentioning that I've had a budget graphics card (Maxi Gamer Cougar) almost as long as I've had the computer, for I am the Cheapskate King.

[PoolMan]

Ah, I see the problem now! You're computer's screwed!

Nah, just kidding. Sounds like video card trouble, if the problem carries from monitor to monitor. You might try (being the Cheapskate King, all hail!) replacing the cable first, cause it can sometimes be as simple as that. But having an old Cougar Gamespit video card (or whatever you said, I'm just too lazy to go back and read) may mean the card's hit its limit.

I'd like to use this opportunity to heap generous and heartfelt thanks to Darth Madler, who surrendered a serious chunk of his long weekend, freedom, and sanity to help me in what shall one day be known as The War Against PoolMan's Computer. We're still not up and running, but it's NOT due to his lack of effort, he's been a machine and a true friend helping me out as much as he has. Just one more hardware piece (looks like your hard drive's buggered, mister), and a software install or two, and we should finally be somewhere near operable.

Hallelujah!

[Hucklebubba]

The fact that my graphics card is named, at least partially, after a feminine hygiene product is something that I probably should've considered before buying it.

[PoolMan]

Whew.

Long story short, the POOL3000 is finally nearing getting back on its feet. After buying JUST enough hardware to nearly make a new computer (but staying marginally below the cost of a new system) Madler and I (emphasis on "Madler") have gotten the system to the point where there's an operable OS on it. Still haven't installed all my hardware yet, and reclaiming all my software configs is going to be hours of work, but it's a HUGE improvement over where I've been in the past couple of weeks.

For the curious, here's the hardware list I've bought:

- CPU (old one was burned, 2.0 GHz AMD Athlon XP 2600+)
- motherboard (because buying PC133 processors just isn't possible anymore, Asus A7V8X-X)
- RAM (again, new mobo and bus speed, 512 MB DDR400)
- hard drive (the old one finally gasped and died after we saved all my data, Maxtor 80GB)

Trust me, it's been an expensive time.

However, the positives are there. I manage to get an upgrade in performance out of my machine. I have learned a TON of things about PC hardware that I wasn't aware of before.

And most of all, Darth Madler has been [glow=red,2,300]THE MAN[/glow] through all of this. I lost count of how many hours we've spent together on this, and he's totally done it without any complaint or griping. Every time I asked for his help, he surrendered the better part of a day or evening helping me fight baffling error after error. <Charlton Heston voice> He truly is the king of kings. </Charlton Heston voice> Golf claps, my friend.

So if anyone was planning on griping me out about not having done a comic, plan on seeing me show up on your doorstep with a tire iron in hand. This has been a brutal experience. However, I renew my promise, there will be a comic in the next couple of weeks.

Unless my graphics card fails. That's about the only part that hasn't gone yet.

[Head Mutant]

This is, by far, the most drawn-out and imaginative excuse you've come up with for delays with promised material. We must cut down on your sugar, boy.

[PoolMan]

And THEN I was attacked by Mormons! MORMONS, I tells ya! They kept feeding me cabbage and demanding that I tie my parents' shoelaces together!

[Kitsune]

PoolMan said:

And THEN I was attacked by Mormons! MORMONS, I tells ya! They kept feeding me cabbage and demanding that I tie my parents' shoelaces together!

*nabs Pooly's sugar daddy pops*

NO MORE FOR YOU! *swipe*