Post by Hucklebubba on Jul 24, 2007 3:48:07 GMT -5
The exclamation point makes it more exciting!
Galaxy Rangers
Gotta admit, I've never seen a single episode of this one, and didn't even know of its existence until I stumbled upon it during a bout of Youtube wandering.
The show's premise is explained fairly well in the intro: A pair of fantastically naive aliens hand the human race the key to interstellar conquest on a silver freaking platter, and we respond by flying to their resource-rich home planet and eradicating everyone we don't enslave.
No, wait, I'm sorry, we actually establish an elite cadre of virtuous space cowboys.
At about 40 seconds in, be on the lookout for our old pal the pentagram! But wait, isn't technology designed to act as a replacement for trafficking in the occult? You know, do everything you can do with witchcraft, only more and better, and without the hassle of corruption and damnation?
Whatever the case, the show has some promise, most notably in its holding license to a theme song worthy of the final comeback of any number of films based around kickboxing.
It's also nice to see a white guy with brown hair leading the pack for a change. I couldn't help but feel like my people were being left out up to now.
Speaking of race: While three of the four characters appear to fall into well-defined archetypes--Martial Artist, Gunslinger, and Uninteresting Leader--it's unclear what the black guy's one-dimensional purpose is.
If I had to guess based just on the intro, I'd say he handles the creation of save points. Which means that if the Galaxy Rangers universe features item crafting and gambling arenas, he may be the most valuable character in the party.
Spiral Zone
Wow. I'm tempted to think I didn't watch enough TV as a child, because I don't remember this one either.
Anyway, I'm taken out of the story right off the bat, as Overlord--proud owner of the world's only documented perpetual nosebleed--clearly says, and I quote, "Surrender, or pay the consequences!"
My grammar anality flies into action unbidden. You can't pay consequences. You can face consequences, or you can pay the price.
I guess it could be construed as tactical brilliance on Overlord's part; his victims have no choice but to surrender upon realization that they couldn't take the alternative he gives them even if they wanted to. Still, if that's going to be the case, I would've preferred something more patently nonsensical. I'm leaning towards, "Surrender, or eat the Spanish language!"
On a related note: Do you suppose his parents named him Overlord? Did they see the scabrous deformity on his little newborn face, and think, "He will certainly plunge humanity into a great darkness, but he is our son, and we love him. Just the same, we should probably name him appropriately, for the sake of future convenience"?
Something to think about.
M.A.S.K.
Now we're kind of getting into my territory.
As I understand it, the concept behind M.A.S.K. was to combine the appeal of the two greatest 80s cartoon franchises--Transformers (transforming things) and G.I. Joe (um. . .humans?)--into a single, tidy, marketable package.
The reason it didn't quite work, in my opinion, is that while a Corvette that turns into a robot is cool every day of the week and twice on Sunday, a Corvette that turns into a submarine is really no cooler than a normal Corvette if you aren't near water.
Add to that the fact that, even as a seven year-old, I seem to recall my initial reaction to the series' most iconic vehicle--the Thunderhawk; a Camaro that could fly using its gullwing doors--as having been something along the lines of, "Okay, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen," and you've got a sure-fire recipe for not-as-good-as-G.I.-Joe-or-the-Transformers.
I do love the intro, though. Mainly because I have a strange fondness for green wireframe worlds. So now you know what to get me for Christmas.
Transformers
Yeah, like there was even a chance I would somehow not include this one.
Not much to say about the intro, mainly because it's super-short. My favorite part has to be where Ratchet, in the middle of an assault on Thundercracker, decides to use his rarely-seen Become Jazz ability. Unfortunately for him, Thundercracker is two steps ahead, having already inexplicably turned into Skywarp. Denied!
Yes, the power of poor continuity is truly awesome to behold.
Bravestarr
Okay, now we're talkin'!
This remains the king of western-y sci-fi goodness in my opinion. I don't need Galaxy Rangers and its abominable pagan shenanigans with possible heavy metal visual tie-in; Native American shamanism is much better!
Okay, now I'm going to say something straight from the heart, and I'd urge anyone reading to take note, so that you can use this against me should I ever try to run for office: Thirty/Thirty is, to this day and for the forseeable future, the biggest badass in all of American animation.
I've given some thought as to why, and I think it has something to do with the fact that a horse--especially/exclusively a horse gifted with the capacity for human expression--is capable of looking a maximum of 300 times more pissed-off than any human can.
As a kid, I was convinced every time Thirty/Thirty pulled his piece--which appeared to be a sewer pipe with a stock and trigger attached--that he was about to blow a smoking hole through someone's chest, and then more than likely eat their freshly-cooked heart.
Yes, I know horses are herbivorous; but what about occasionally bipedal horse-robot-dudes that are scary? Hmmm? Any input, Sue?
Thundercats
Disjointed, kinda-bulleted list power go!
--Thundercats was one of a few 80s cartoons to use the ol' "Our intro cost half of the show's total budget to produce, took more time to create than the entire first season, and features animation roughly 400,000 times better than what you will see in any episode" trick.
--I'm envious of Cheetara's ability to audibly boing when she jumps.
--About a year ago, I picked up the first season of Thundercats on DVD, watched the first two episodes, and then proceeded to furiously pinch myself in the hopes that I would wake up, safe in bed, and not having blown fifty bucks on this crap.
--In 2003-ish, a comic publisher which I will not bother to look up published Thundercats: The Return, which featured, among other things, a super-hot grown-up Wilykit. This made everyone feel weird. And by "everyone" I mean "me." It was one of those situations where I thought to myself, "Hmm. There is undeniable sexiness here, but I'd really prefer not to admit such" It's a feeling remarkably similar to that associated with lesbian moms attempting to sell me Ovaltine. Curious.
Galaxy Rangers
Gotta admit, I've never seen a single episode of this one, and didn't even know of its existence until I stumbled upon it during a bout of Youtube wandering.
The show's premise is explained fairly well in the intro: A pair of fantastically naive aliens hand the human race the key to interstellar conquest on a silver freaking platter, and we respond by flying to their resource-rich home planet and eradicating everyone we don't enslave.
No, wait, I'm sorry, we actually establish an elite cadre of virtuous space cowboys.
At about 40 seconds in, be on the lookout for our old pal the pentagram! But wait, isn't technology designed to act as a replacement for trafficking in the occult? You know, do everything you can do with witchcraft, only more and better, and without the hassle of corruption and damnation?
Whatever the case, the show has some promise, most notably in its holding license to a theme song worthy of the final comeback of any number of films based around kickboxing.
It's also nice to see a white guy with brown hair leading the pack for a change. I couldn't help but feel like my people were being left out up to now.
Speaking of race: While three of the four characters appear to fall into well-defined archetypes--Martial Artist, Gunslinger, and Uninteresting Leader--it's unclear what the black guy's one-dimensional purpose is.
If I had to guess based just on the intro, I'd say he handles the creation of save points. Which means that if the Galaxy Rangers universe features item crafting and gambling arenas, he may be the most valuable character in the party.
Spiral Zone
Wow. I'm tempted to think I didn't watch enough TV as a child, because I don't remember this one either.
Anyway, I'm taken out of the story right off the bat, as Overlord--proud owner of the world's only documented perpetual nosebleed--clearly says, and I quote, "Surrender, or pay the consequences!"
My grammar anality flies into action unbidden. You can't pay consequences. You can face consequences, or you can pay the price.
I guess it could be construed as tactical brilliance on Overlord's part; his victims have no choice but to surrender upon realization that they couldn't take the alternative he gives them even if they wanted to. Still, if that's going to be the case, I would've preferred something more patently nonsensical. I'm leaning towards, "Surrender, or eat the Spanish language!"
On a related note: Do you suppose his parents named him Overlord? Did they see the scabrous deformity on his little newborn face, and think, "He will certainly plunge humanity into a great darkness, but he is our son, and we love him. Just the same, we should probably name him appropriately, for the sake of future convenience"?
Something to think about.
M.A.S.K.
Now we're kind of getting into my territory.
As I understand it, the concept behind M.A.S.K. was to combine the appeal of the two greatest 80s cartoon franchises--Transformers (transforming things) and G.I. Joe (um. . .humans?)--into a single, tidy, marketable package.
The reason it didn't quite work, in my opinion, is that while a Corvette that turns into a robot is cool every day of the week and twice on Sunday, a Corvette that turns into a submarine is really no cooler than a normal Corvette if you aren't near water.
Add to that the fact that, even as a seven year-old, I seem to recall my initial reaction to the series' most iconic vehicle--the Thunderhawk; a Camaro that could fly using its gullwing doors--as having been something along the lines of, "Okay, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen," and you've got a sure-fire recipe for not-as-good-as-G.I.-Joe-or-the-Transformers.
I do love the intro, though. Mainly because I have a strange fondness for green wireframe worlds. So now you know what to get me for Christmas.
Transformers
Yeah, like there was even a chance I would somehow not include this one.
Not much to say about the intro, mainly because it's super-short. My favorite part has to be where Ratchet, in the middle of an assault on Thundercracker, decides to use his rarely-seen Become Jazz ability. Unfortunately for him, Thundercracker is two steps ahead, having already inexplicably turned into Skywarp. Denied!
Yes, the power of poor continuity is truly awesome to behold.
Bravestarr
Okay, now we're talkin'!
This remains the king of western-y sci-fi goodness in my opinion. I don't need Galaxy Rangers and its abominable pagan shenanigans with possible heavy metal visual tie-in; Native American shamanism is much better!
Okay, now I'm going to say something straight from the heart, and I'd urge anyone reading to take note, so that you can use this against me should I ever try to run for office: Thirty/Thirty is, to this day and for the forseeable future, the biggest badass in all of American animation.
I've given some thought as to why, and I think it has something to do with the fact that a horse--especially/exclusively a horse gifted with the capacity for human expression--is capable of looking a maximum of 300 times more pissed-off than any human can.
As a kid, I was convinced every time Thirty/Thirty pulled his piece--which appeared to be a sewer pipe with a stock and trigger attached--that he was about to blow a smoking hole through someone's chest, and then more than likely eat their freshly-cooked heart.
Yes, I know horses are herbivorous; but what about occasionally bipedal horse-robot-dudes that are scary? Hmmm? Any input, Sue?
Thundercats
Disjointed, kinda-bulleted list power go!
--Thundercats was one of a few 80s cartoons to use the ol' "Our intro cost half of the show's total budget to produce, took more time to create than the entire first season, and features animation roughly 400,000 times better than what you will see in any episode" trick.
--I'm envious of Cheetara's ability to audibly boing when she jumps.
--About a year ago, I picked up the first season of Thundercats on DVD, watched the first two episodes, and then proceeded to furiously pinch myself in the hopes that I would wake up, safe in bed, and not having blown fifty bucks on this crap.
--In 2003-ish, a comic publisher which I will not bother to look up published Thundercats: The Return, which featured, among other things, a super-hot grown-up Wilykit. This made everyone feel weird. And by "everyone" I mean "me." It was one of those situations where I thought to myself, "Hmm. There is undeniable sexiness here, but I'd really prefer not to admit such" It's a feeling remarkably similar to that associated with lesbian moms attempting to sell me Ovaltine. Curious.
