Post by Hucklebubba on Nov 27, 2007 21:21:27 GMT -5
So there's this little Chinese buffet called The Hong Kong, wherein nary a shootout has ever erupted, but which I like anyway because they have awesome rice noodles.
It goes without saying that fortune cookies are an integral part of the whole Chinese food process, and most of the fortunes I've bestowed upon myself in The Hong Kong have been of the standard type. You know, "Vast riches and happiness will descend upon you from the heavens, and you will sadly die from the head trauma," and then on the back it would either have lucky numbers, or how to say, "My butt will hurt in the morning," in Chinese.
But once in a while, I'll get a fortune that's somewhat. . .special. Take tonight's fortune, for example. Verbatim:
"Let's finish this up now, someone is waiting for you on that."
I'm a little aggravated that I'm not given any clues as to what object the mystery person is waiting for me on is. The pier? A flying castle? A naked lady?
But that isn't even what makes this fortune remarkable. No, the coolness is that the first part sounds like a challenge (and fighting!) from some unseen aggressor who's actually in the restaurant with me.
When I first read it, I felt like I should either draw a katana to parry an attack from behind, or a pair of guns and dive for the nearest serving cart.
As I had neither, I contented myself with finishing my torturously cold ice cream. Which, like all ice cream at every Chinese buffet everywhere, is maintained at a temperature approximately three degrees above Absolute Zero.
Anyway, although that fortune may have been wondrous, it can't quite top my all time favorite:
"Now is the time to make circles with mints. Do not haste any longer."
I'm not clear on how I'm supposed to stop hasting. Or how to haste in the first place.
I suppose it's just a gramatically haphazard way of saying "slow down." Sure, the opening statement has a certain degree of urgency to it, but that doesn't mean that I should be sloppy with my mint-circling. I'm going to take my time, making sure that the mints are all equidistant from one another, and that their swirl patterns are in sync.
I am a bit troubled, though, in regards to what I should expect will happen once the mints are properly circled. I'm not going to inadvertantly release Freshbreeze the Annihilator from the minty demon realm, am I? Because, if it's at all avoidable, I'd like to not be the power-mad wizard in the dumbest RPG ever made.
It goes without saying that fortune cookies are an integral part of the whole Chinese food process, and most of the fortunes I've bestowed upon myself in The Hong Kong have been of the standard type. You know, "Vast riches and happiness will descend upon you from the heavens, and you will sadly die from the head trauma," and then on the back it would either have lucky numbers, or how to say, "My butt will hurt in the morning," in Chinese.
But once in a while, I'll get a fortune that's somewhat. . .special. Take tonight's fortune, for example. Verbatim:
"Let's finish this up now, someone is waiting for you on that."
I'm a little aggravated that I'm not given any clues as to what object the mystery person is waiting for me on is. The pier? A flying castle? A naked lady?
But that isn't even what makes this fortune remarkable. No, the coolness is that the first part sounds like a challenge (and fighting!) from some unseen aggressor who's actually in the restaurant with me.
When I first read it, I felt like I should either draw a katana to parry an attack from behind, or a pair of guns and dive for the nearest serving cart.
As I had neither, I contented myself with finishing my torturously cold ice cream. Which, like all ice cream at every Chinese buffet everywhere, is maintained at a temperature approximately three degrees above Absolute Zero.
Anyway, although that fortune may have been wondrous, it can't quite top my all time favorite:
"Now is the time to make circles with mints. Do not haste any longer."
I'm not clear on how I'm supposed to stop hasting. Or how to haste in the first place.
I suppose it's just a gramatically haphazard way of saying "slow down." Sure, the opening statement has a certain degree of urgency to it, but that doesn't mean that I should be sloppy with my mint-circling. I'm going to take my time, making sure that the mints are all equidistant from one another, and that their swirl patterns are in sync.
I am a bit troubled, though, in regards to what I should expect will happen once the mints are properly circled. I'm not going to inadvertantly release Freshbreeze the Annihilator from the minty demon realm, am I? Because, if it's at all avoidable, I'd like to not be the power-mad wizard in the dumbest RPG ever made.
