DTH
Ghostbuster
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Posts: 582
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Post by DTH on Oct 16, 2008 2:06:57 GMT -5
It was just on the radio that the UK government are trying to promote use of the internet amongst the elderly. They coined the phrase "Silver Surfers" for an retired person who uses the web  |
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Post by duckie on Oct 16, 2008 5:44:41 GMT -5
I was listening to the news, and they were painting a sob story about someone who overcame hardship to achieve success. This person's hardship was being "born illiterate"... Hmmmm, I think all of us are born illiterate  |
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Post by pfrsue on Oct 16, 2008 6:39:50 GMT -5
Hmmmm, I think all of us are born illiterate Speak for yourself. |
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dex
Ghostbuster
So what colour is the sky in your world?
Posts: 343
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Post by dex on Dec 8, 2008 10:04:32 GMT -5
Caveat cissor!Now we know why Dotty's virgin-alarm was so important--the health insurance company insisted on it!
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Post by TheLuckyOne on Dec 11, 2008 22:52:28 GMT -5
Replace "heard" with "saw," but for anyone who hasn't finished (started) their shopping yet, this has potential to be the greatest Christmas present... ever. Maybe second, after forgiveness of sins. Either way, it's awesome: 50 kids. 20 super-hot moms. No rules.-D |
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coccatino
Ghostbuster
whose baby are you?
Posts: 588
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Post by coccatino on Dec 11, 2008 23:35:44 GMT -5
Drew- amazing.
shortly prior to watching 30 Rock this took place...
Me: Stop stealing the baby's food!
Husband: When he gets a job we can talk about who steals whose food!
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Post by Head Mutant on Dec 16, 2008 21:28:21 GMT -5
This might be more of a "you had to be there" situation, but it was just too bizarre to not mention.
Tonight my wife takes me out to Outback Steakhouse to celebrate the end of the semester (aced that final!), and we get this PoolMan-looking waiter at our table.
He's a little friendly.
A little... too friendly.
You ever have one of those waiters who seems desperate for human connection, who wants to make everyone love them, and who has to chat at least for three minutes every time they come to the table? Yeah, that was this guy. Seriously, he had to comment on EVERYTHING.
"You want water to wet your whistle? Sure thing, pardner!"
"Oh look at it out there. Is that snow? I think it's snow. You guys better be careful driving back! Don't slip and slide, is what I'm saying!"
When I was done eating: "Hey, you didn't eat all your green beans? Were they not good? Are you ducking your veggies, well, are you? Heh heh, what do you think little lady? Bad hubby, huh?"
And at least three times while eating we'd look up and he'd be standing there, staring and smiling at us like a serial killer in an alleyway. My wife knew I was just about ready to throw myself at him for how insanely annoying he was being -- really, much like that hyper waiter in Office Space -- but I held back somehow.
I know I'm not doing a good job with this story, but really... I've just never had a waiter be that personally intrusive and obnoxious.
At the end, my wife asks me, "Should we talk to a manager? That guys was way too intense." I said no, and as we walked out, we heard an employee call him "Manager Eddie".
The moral of this story: managers are creepy and are possibly alien infested.
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Post by PoolMan on Dec 17, 2008 11:09:59 GMT -5
Didn't I tell you about my new job?
...
Now go ahead and eat them taters, Justin. EAT EM!
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DTH
Ghostbuster
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Posts: 582
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Post by DTH on Dec 17, 2008 12:48:00 GMT -5
Didn't I tell you about my new job? ... Now go ahead and eat them taters, Justin. EAT EM! At this point my girlfriend would be saying: "Taters, woss taters, precious?" "Poh-tate-oes. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew." Its her favourite quote (but not her most used!) |
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Post by Head Mutant on Dec 19, 2008 17:35:33 GMT -5
[The scene: sitting next to my wife on the couch, reading together.]
Me: [looking over at my wife's Yet Another Romance Novel] How's the book? They fall in love yet?
Her: She has an ulcer. She just took medication for it.
Me: Did she drink milk?
Her: Yup, right here.
Me: The things Nora Roberts uses to keep characters apart...
(I dunno, I found it funny...)
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Post by Head Mutant on Dec 27, 2008 13:58:41 GMT -5
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Post by StarOpal on Dec 27, 2008 19:16:41 GMT -5
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Post by TheLuckyOne on Dec 27, 2008 20:30:44 GMT -5
Building on what Eunice said: there's nothing more uncomfortable than your brother-in-law joking about how his dog can't see your wife's face because of certain... obstructions in the way.
-D
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coccatino
Ghostbuster
whose baby are you?
Posts: 588
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Post by coccatino on Dec 28, 2008 14:24:08 GMT -5
I could populate this entire thread with fodder from last night (Husband's 10 year reunion) but this is my favorite...
I was roped into baking a gross of cookies for the event, cookies which were neglected in favor of mass alcohol consumption. At the end of the night I was packing up the leftovers when some guy comes up to me...
Guy: Did you make all of these cookies?
me: yeah, would you like to take some home? (gesturing to him and the group of people with him)
Guy: no, but I'll eat one for you, if that's what you want... :::winks:::
me: .....
Guy: So, did we go to school together?
me: No... I'm _______'s wife.
Guy: ::walks away without another word::
Maybe you had to be there, but offering to eat a cookie 'for me' is hands down the most amazing pick up line, ever.
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Post by Hucklebubba on Dec 28, 2008 15:17:49 GMT -5
Me (having just read a Christmas card my boss gave me): "Whoa. Okay, it's not a good idea to read Bible verses in the same mindset you use for fortune cookie fortunes."
Linda (co-worker): "How's that?"
Me: "'You will become pregnant, and bear a son...'"
Linda: (laughs hysterically, as she is wont to do)
Me: "And if you thought the virgin birth was impressive..."
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