But what if they never crawled at all?

[deusdragonexx]

Not only the first thread I've made here, but a counter-counter thread. ;D

This is about movies that you hated, and no matter how many people told you how good the movie was, it remained on your hatred list.

For me, that movie was, is, and always will be, Mulholland Drive. People rave about how good that movie was, and all that does is lower my opinion of the people who say that. David Lynch obviously got to the third act of the script, then just let his four year old nephew write the rest of it. It was stupid.

[Lissa]

You will be seeing a review on this shortly, after last night, but Lost in Translation.

I can not tell you how much I DESPISE this movie.

But I'll vent it in a properly formatted review.

I also hate Pulp Fiction.

[Hucklebubba]

Speaking of Lost in Translation...

Scarlet Johansson, who plays Bill Murray's jailbait compatriot, was once the hottest new thing in Hollywood for a stretch of about three hours.

I'm not sure she even warranted that much time. I mean, am I the only one who thinks she seems kind of...groggy? Hazy? Slurry? Not entirely with it? Perpetually stoned?

Another thing that bugged me about this movie was that all of the prereviews I read kept using the phrase "almost entirely platonic" when referring to the relationship between Bill & Scarlett's characters.

Uh uh. "Almost entirely" ain't gonna cut it, bucko. You will find me nowhere near, unless I see something along the lines of "Most platonic relationship ever."

Incidentally, and in explanation of my revulsion towards any Charlotte/Bob relationship that isn't 110% non-sexual, it seems the folks responsible for Lost in Translation wanted to one-up whoever was in charge of casting for The Tuxedo.

Not satisfied with the measly 2:1 age ratio contained therein, (Jackie Chan-48, Jennifer Love Hewitt-24) they decided to make a pairing where the guy is nearly thrice the age of the gal! See? I said "thrice," rather than "three times," because I'm prim and proper.

Anyway, Lissa, I await your review with bated breath. Or rather, I would await your review with bated breath, but I prefer to use lures.

Ha ha ha ha...aheh...eehhh.

[deusdragonexx]

Hucklebubba said:

See? I said "thrice," rather than "three times," because I'm prim and proper.

Ha ha ha ha...aheh...eehhh.

Yes, prim and proper is definitely what you are my friend.

[Magill]

Hucklebubba, have you seen the movie yet? If not, I wouldn't be too judgemental about the type of their relationship.

In my view, they're more kindred spirits than anything else. And they probably only would've gotten along in Tokyo.

[Hucklebubba]

Magill said:

Hucklebubba, have you seen the movie yet? If not, I wouldn't be too judgemental about the type of their relationship.

[whine]Aw, but I like being judgmental. And I don't wanna see the movie, as that would provide me with actual facts, which in turn would make it harder for me to jump to conclusions. I'd rather go to Tachi station and pick up some power converters...[/whine]

[dajaymann]

My mother-in-law bought me Dungeons and Dragons for Christmas two years ago. This is the worst film in my collection. Worse yet, I can't get rid of it because my mom-in-law gave it to me, and I feel guilt far too easily regarding such matters. But, nonetheless, I hate this film. There are zero redeeming qualities concerning this movie. Even as far as cheesy bad movies go, it's bad. The film just tries to take itself sooooo seriously in all the wrong places, and tries to ham it up in even worse places.

[Hucklebubba]

One movie that I still stalwartly refuse to come within cow pie-flinging range of is XXX. Mainly because it falls under the Xtremity Clause, but also because I have an unreasonable dislike of Vin Diesel.

[PoolMan]

I still take a degree of pride in never having seen a Vin Diesel movie. None of 'em. Let alone the Xtreme ones. Wellll... okay, I saw Iron Giant. But at least he doesn't appear in that one.

For the record, Chronicles of Riddick looks to be a waste of both money and Dames.

And now I give you...


Portrait of a Fart Actor!

[PowerBum]

Hey, hey, the list I've been waiting for.

Pretty much everything Tarantino touches(except the soundtracks)(yes, including Kill Bill) and the recently viewed A Clockwork Orange.

I also still really want to see Lost in Translation, and no amount of bad-talking shall sway me until it is done.

[RobinFlamingo]

The Matrix. I've never liked it, and I never will.

Lord of the Rings. We bought the first one, and didn't make it all the way thru yet...but I loved the books.

I feel like the anti-Christ admitting this.

[Genetic Mishap]

RobinFlamingo said:

The Matrix. I've never liked it, and I never will.

Lord of the Rings. We bought the first one, and didn't make it all the way thru yet...but I loved the books.

I feel like the anti-Christ admitting this.

I think I can top that- I watched Star Wars: A New Hope relativly recently in my life (September of last year, I think), and I was bored to tears.

Haven't seen the other three movies, and did not like Phantom Menace at all.

Other movies everyone likes, but I don't:

The Godfather (shut it off halfway- bored to tears again)
The Exorcist

Also, if it's not animated and doesn't involve horror, scifi, fantasy or quotable comdeic flair, I probably won't like it.

[Der Germ]

I'm so glad to find that I'm not the only person in the entire freaking WORLD who doesn't like Star Wars. I just do not like it, period. I'll watch it if it's on at a party or something (it's happened before), but only for mock value. It's not like I hate it, I just really really don't like it.

Another one: House of 1000 Corpses. I don't care if it's directed, produced, written, choreographed, and crapped on by Rob Zombie. I don't care if Rob Zombie is an artistic genius (*cough* so not). I don't care if it was so gorey that the screen was more red than anything throughout the film. I hated this film. HATED! I could go on and on, but I'll spare everyone.

[Genetic Mishap]

Der said:

Another one: House of 1000 Corpses. I don't care if it's directed, produced, written, choreographed, and crapped on by Rob Zombie. I don't care if Rob Zombie is an artistic genius (*cough* so not). I don't care if it was so gorey that the screen was more red than anything throughout the film. I hated this film. HATED! I could go on and on, but I'll spare everyone.

I'm confused; I haven't heard any positive praise for that movie at all. Not even from hardcore Fango readers.

[deusdragonexx]

Genetic said:

I think I can top that- I watched Star Wars: A New Hope relativly recently in my life (September of last year, I think), and I was bored to tears.

Haven't seen the other three movies, and did not like Phantom Menace at all.

Der said:

I'm so glad to find that I'm not the only person in the entire freaking WORLD who doesn't like Star Wars. I just do not like it, period. I'll watch it if it's on at a party or something (it's happened before), but only for mock value. It's not like I hate it, I just really really don't like it.

Wow. I didn't know there were people who didn't like Star Wars. That's interesting.