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Post by PoolMan on Jan 26, 2009 14:07:33 GMT -5
You say that like it's a bad thing!
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dex
Ghostbuster
So what colour is the sky in your world?
Posts: 343
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Post by dex on Feb 11, 2009 13:40:06 GMT -5
You remember the time when some said, "Schwarzenegger? A politian?!"
Well, Germany has a new Secretary of Commerce. His name: Guttenberg.
At least he's not Secretary of the Interior. Or Defense. You know, where he would be responsible for the police or killer robots.
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Post by BlackCatWhiteCat on Feb 12, 2009 0:49:26 GMT -5
So yesterday my fiesty 96 year-old grandmother (who has clogged arteries and a bad heart anyway) had to have surgery on her leg, which she broke on Sunday. My grammy, normally a sweet little lady that bakes treats and watches her "stories" all day will, once in the hospital, berate whoever is within earshot to the point that they will pray for a quick and merciful end.
My mom called today after having stayed overnight with her in the hospital to tell me how she has been doing. The conversation then something like this:
Mom: Yeah she's doing real good. Started breathing on her own right after the surgery and the doctors are really impressed, since she's in pretty bad health these days.
Me: Is she raising Cain yet?
Mom (without even a pause): Oh yeah she's mad. Already trying to talk her way out of the hospital, even though her leg's in a cast and hanging up in the air. She was fussing at me, saying she needed to get back home and cook the food in her fridge before it "rurns". I feel sorry for Priscilla". [my aunt whose turn it is to stay with grandma]
Me: Oh wow she is feeling good, then.
Then Mom went on to tell me about a conversation between her and grandma's doctor that went something like this:
Doctor: "I wouldn't have operated on her if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Her heart is in such bad condition I was afraid she might not make it. I can't believe another doctor tried to talk her into heart surgery last year. It would be way too risky. The children made the right decision not to go through with it.
Grandma, from across the room: "Ain't nobody a-gonna touch my heart, neither!"
Mom: It wasn't our decision.
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Post by BlackCatWhiteCat on Feb 22, 2009 16:52:43 GMT -5
Hubby and I were playing Trivial Pursuit and it was my turn to be asked a question:
Hubby: "How many out of ten US residents died at 60 years old in 1999?"
Me: "Uh........3?"
Hubby: "No, it's 8. Wow."
Me: "I never would have guessed that."
Hubby: "Yeah, if it were residents of Florida, then I could see that."
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Post by pfrsue on Feb 23, 2009 15:25:44 GMT -5
Yesterday, my son asked, "Hey Mom, you know what the most dangerous food is?"
Me: "Fugu."
Son pauses and says with disillusion. "Man. I heard it was supposed to be blow fish."
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Post by Head Mutant on Feb 23, 2009 16:58:15 GMT -5
[As I was going away for the weekend on a retreat]
Wife: What if there's a tornado while you're gone?
Me: Just run fast and make sharp right turns. Tornadoes can't turn right. ...Wait, that might be hippos. Or crocodiles.
Wife: I hate you.
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Post by Head Mutant on Mar 7, 2009 17:30:52 GMT -5
[At our day-long baby class at the hospital]
Teacher: So your contractions will be growing stronger and stronger, which means... anyone?
Justin: (mutters) More fun?
Teacher: What was that Justin?
Justin: Er, more fun?
Teacher: ...
Justin: That's why you don't call on somebody who muttered the answer.
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coccatino
Ghostbuster
whose baby are you?
Posts: 588
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Post by coccatino on Mar 8, 2009 13:24:55 GMT -5
haha! You're going to be terrible during labor. Like my husband, who encouraged me by yelling 'you're kicking ***, sweetie!'
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Post by Head Mutant on Mar 8, 2009 20:53:41 GMT -5
Well, all I can say is that if she has to have a C-section, I am *so* using the screen for puppets.
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Post by PoolMan on Mar 12, 2009 12:16:57 GMT -5
Hahaha... from a spam/scam email received on my MRFH email account. Talk about doing your research! (underlined emphasis mine) I am soooooooo tempted to write back and play dumb. "Wow, even though my name is Poole, Dr Poolman named me as his Next of Kin? How do I cash in on this absurd coincidence?" I wonder if Justin's gotten his inheritance from Professor Bigbanana yet?  |
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Post by Al on Mar 12, 2009 12:25:14 GMT -5
That reminds me- you proposed an experiment a while back where you would leave your email address at a single spam site and wait to see how long it would take to fill it up. Did you ever try it?
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Post by PoolMan on Mar 12, 2009 13:42:11 GMT -5
I actually did try it... and I've gotten about 12 emails from Apple trying to sell me iPods and iMacs and all manner of Apply stuff. But over the course of probably more than a year, that's not exactly a lot, and Apple is actually a pretty reputable company. I haven't had any inheritance offers or anything! So I'm going to have to try another one.
Hmmm... "Dr Poolman"... Justin, does my Mutant Emeritus status give me an honourary doctorate? I could get used to that!
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Post by duckie on Mar 12, 2009 19:58:54 GMT -5
Hmmm... "Dr Poolman"... Justin, does my Mutant Emeritus status give me an honourary doctorate? I could get used to that! Shouldn't that be either "honourary doctourate" or "honorary doctorate"? I don't know when to add in the extra "u"... so confused in the ways of the Canadien! |
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DTH
Ghostbuster
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Posts: 582
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Post by DTH on Mar 13, 2009 7:10:14 GMT -5
Hmmm... "Dr Poolman"... Justin, does my Mutant Emeritus status give me an honourary doctorate? I could get used to that! Shouldn't that be either "honourary doctourate" or "honorary doctorate"? I don't know when to add in the extra "u"... so confused in the ways of the Canadien! The letter "U" actually belongs to the Queen, you know. Its her "English" after all |
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Post by pfrsue on Mar 13, 2009 9:51:45 GMT -5
We're in a recession. Eight million US dollars gets you what now? Breakfast at Denny's and a package of socks? |
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"If I'm going to be desensitized into a mindless stock animal, I may as well do it with a cushy ergonomic seat and magnificent THX-certified sound. -Kevin Murphy
