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Post by dajaymann on Dec 6, 2005 21:03:04 GMT -5
FOR DECORATIVE PURPOSES ONLY. ARTICLE MAY POISON FOOD. She says, "[bad word]." Dude, that is pure gold. Also, this lead to me rethinking my dollar store-Christmas strategy as well... |
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Post by Head Mutant on Dec 27, 2005 11:31:11 GMT -5
Why I love being married to a geek.
We're driving along and we hit some slush, the car jerks hard and I get it under control. Relieved, Caramel says,
"Wow, that was a GREAT save! Ctrl-S! Save!"
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Post by Ms. Jellybean on Dec 31, 2005 9:13:26 GMT -5
This is how you know my parents have raised me the right way when it comes to quoting movies.
FATHER: Just stay here in the truck, I'll be right back.
ME: (slams up against window) I'm in a glass case of emotiooooon!
ME: This biscuit is good, but it is filling. (chucks it out the window)
ME: (on Christmas day at grandmother's house) We have been coming to this same party for twelve years now, and in no way is that depressing.
Anchorman fans, take note.
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Post by pfrsue on Dec 31, 2005 15:43:31 GMT -5
I think my daughter has created a new method of cursing. (That, or she got it from a tv show, but she's not telling.) The other day we were playing air hockey and the puck nailed her right in the knuckle. She grabbed her hand and howled, "LAURA INGALLS WILDER!"
I'm not sure why, but I'm still laughing about that. My current cuss of choice is "MA, PA and MARY!"
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Post by StarOpal on Jan 4, 2006 15:02:04 GMT -5
At lunch....
Coworker 1: This doesn't taste like I don't remember when I was a kid.
*silence*
Me: 'This doesn't taste like I don't remember when I was a kid?'
Coworker 2: Oh good, you heard it too.
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Post by pfrsue on Jan 14, 2006 19:08:54 GMT -5
I haven't decided if this is funny or not. Yesterday I overheard this conversation between my kids.
SoM1 - I can't wait for Hoot the movie to come out! After I see it, I'm going to write a review.
SoM2 - Like the Mutant Reviewers?
SoM1 - Yup!
SoM2 - But I thought you said Mutant Reviewers is just a site for people who are bored and unhappy with their lives.
SoM1 (Very agitated): No, no! I didn't say that. I just said they don't have lives!
SoM2 - Oh. Okay then.
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Post by StarOpal on Jan 19, 2006 16:11:22 GMT -5
While walking by doctors' offices, explanation unknown:
"Those stinking penguins are after our women."
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Post by Head Mutant on Jan 25, 2006 12:26:40 GMT -5
So I got Simpsons season six for Christmas, the DVD package that comes in a plastic head of Homer. Looks cool, but it doesn't sit on a shelf well at all. Well, there's a card in the box that gives you a phone # to call if you want a replacement box with the standard packaging.
I thought you'd guys would get a kick out of this, so go ahead and call:
1-800-223-2369.
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Post by pfrsue on Feb 5, 2006 22:22:39 GMT -5
Since no one invited me to a Super Bowl party (sniffle), my daughter decided to keep me company during the game. Now she doesn't understand a thing about football, but showed willing by asking me questions. I share them with you now.
SoM2 - So what's the quarterback?
Me - He's the guy who either throws the football or hands it off to the running back.
SoM2 - And the running back is?
Me - He holds the football and tries to run past the other team.
SoM2 - Got it. So then, what does a hassle back do?
Me - (Barely refraining from laughing my head off because she's inadvertantly referring to Matt Hasselbeck, the Seattle quarterback.) Oh, he just teases the other team and tries to make them mad so they'll make mistakes.
SoM2 - Coooooooool!
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Post by Head Mutant on Feb 10, 2006 21:33:43 GMT -5
On our way to see Curious George...
Me: What was your favorite book?
Caramel: Curious George Goes To The Hospital.
Me: Mine too! I don't think any book before or since made puzzle pieces look so tasty.
Caramel: Ohh. I know.
[pause]
Caramel: I ate two.
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Post by Head Mutant on Mar 9, 2006 20:48:25 GMT -5
Caramel: You know, if you go to the bathroom in the desert, they don't have toilet paper.
Me: No?
Caramel: Nope. They only have SAND PAPER! [cue 5 minutes of maniacal laughter]
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Post by StarOpal on Mar 9, 2006 21:33:37 GMT -5
Sister in-law and me after bringing home groceries....
Me: *looking in the fridge* Who put the mayo in here?
Sis: I did.
Me: ...Why's it open?
Sis: It says 'refrigerate after opening.'
Me:........ *leaves room to laugh*
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Post by pfrsue on Mar 16, 2006 22:06:19 GMT -5
An emotionally moved SoM2 over a brand new pint of Ben & Jerry's. "Oh Mommy, I'm just so very, very happy that I'm not lactose intolerant..."
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Post by Spiderdancer on Mar 17, 2006 10:27:52 GMT -5
Good one. I think my own ecstasy the first time I tasted chocolate was very similar, but given I was maybe 5 months old I don't remember.  |
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oymre
Mini-Mutant
For when "No Trespassing" signs don't work...
Posts: 1
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Post by oymre on Mar 25, 2006 16:29:43 GMT -5
My twin sister manages to say stupid yet funny things everyday, I could probably write a small book about the stupid things she says, actually I could write an even smaller book about the clever things she says. Anyway, this happened not long ago:
ME: I'd like to learn Russian.
SISTER: Yeah, but not many people speak it.
[pause]
ME: Erm...You might want to look at a map.
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